Dark Pearls of Wisdom

Global Warming Not Cited for Failure To Appear

2007-10-01T16:53:00.000-06:00

More stealing from Ace of Spades, but with some commentary by me.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-flbshear1001nboct01,0,6613717.story

The basic gist of the story is that after reviewing the hurricane season, there hasn't been much to speak of. What they don't mention is that after all the hoopla and hand wringing that Global Warming (trademark, Al Gore) will cause massive superstorms, droughts, alien invasions, and childhood obesity, there hasn't been jack crap to show for it. Hurricanes Katrina and Rita were supposed to be just the warmup (no pun intended) for Mother Nature really socking it to us in a fit of Gaia-inspired mayhem. So far, it looks like Mother Nature took a Midol and flopped onto the couch with a bucket of ice cream to watch the Lifetime network.

So, like so many other tales of coming desperate disasters, we're seeing a whole lot of nothing. Does that mean that Global Warming (trademark, Al Gore) isn't real? No, looking at history we can clearly see that all kinds of warming, cooling, drying, wetting, sulfur-emitting and other trends can be seen (and that's just in my bathroom!). The world is a big, big place that's been around a long, long time. When observed in timeframes as short as I've seen cited, it's like diagnosing a death rattle after listening to a single hiccup.

Does this mean that Mother Nature won't wipe a region off the map every now and then in a fit of PMS-like rage? Of course not. Disasters happen with an alarming regularity despite how often we think we've seen the "worst in a century." Their causes are as diverse as seawater-soaked rock being subsumed 100 million years ago (Mt. Pinatubo, 1991) to a gamma ray burst from a star hundreds of light years away (one possible cause of the Ordovician extinction, 445 million years ago).

To sum up, Mother Nature doesn't need a reason to go postal on us and, while our actions do have consequences, take what comes out of the mouths of "people in the know" with a grain of salt. If you don't, you could miss out on a whole lot of nice, sunny days.

Problem of Leatherclad S&M Maniacs Divides Community

2007-10-01T16:44:00.000-06:00

This is stolen from ACE of Spades (http://ace.mu.nu/#242240), but it's so damn worthwhile I can't help myself. For all who wonder if we really should "give peace a chance," here's the answer.

THE GREAT WESTERN Desert, Australia -- It's a tiny community, of just one hundred and fifty souls. The economic center of the town is a single oil well; the only other economic activities are subistence farming and light trade with far-flung outposts across the dangerous highways. The town has no name, and appears on no maps.

But for the past year, residents have been debating a problem: what is to be done about the growing threat from the rampaging, gay-looking, bare-assed S&M biker gangs that control the highways and occasionally surround the town?

Lord Humungus, spiritual leader of the savage roving sort-of gay biker-gangs. Called "The Ayatollah of Rock-n-Rollah," he is seen here delivering the daily prayers to his followers and exhorting them to "kill, kill, kill" all who stand in his way. He describes himself as being fundamentally "a man of peace."

One resident, a 30-year-old unmarried female known only to her fellow residents as "Warrior Woman," sees the threat in stark terms. "They're monsters," she says flatly. "They butcher us when we dare to leave the town's protective walls. Every day they kill a couple more of us; every day their numbers grow. The only solution is to take the fight to them."

A Feral Kid expresses his full agreement with the Warrior Woman. "Rrrrahhh," he says. And there seems little chance of changing his mind.

But other residents are more cautious. "'Take the fight to them?'" scoffs one resident. "That's what Warrior Woman says about every problem. Are the chickens not producing enough eggs? Take the fight to them. Are the engines of our scavenged vehicles old and in dire need of replacement? Take the fight to them."

The resident, who only identifies himself as The Curmudgeon, sighs and shakes his head. "Warrior Woman has a cool composite bow and bright-white football shoulder pads. She thinks she can fight the highway trash. But you know what? The highway gangs have shoulder pads too, and lots of bows and arrows. They've got crossbows, little ones that fit right on their forearms. And their leader even has a .44 magnum revolver and four bullets, several of which might not be dud rounds."

The Curmudgeon doesn't believe that war is the solution. "An arrow for an arrow leaves the world blind."

"I reject the term 'terrorism,'" says the leader of the highway gangs, a beefy, steel-hockey-mask-wearing self-styled "resistance leader" calling himself Lord Humungus. "Is it 'terrorism' when when we indiscriminately slaughter innocent civillians? Is it 'terrorism' when we take them prisoner and tie them to the front of our dune-buggies as human shields? Is it 'terrorism' just because we surround their camp and tell them they must give in to us or else we will continue terrorizing them?"

Lord Humungus scoffs at the absuridity of that characterization. "I think terms like 'terrorism' are far too simplistic. The world isn't black and white. It just isn't. Sure, all the people in the town wear white shoulder pads and bleached canvas, and all of our highway maniacs wear black leather bondage gear, but viewing the world in such a way lacks all nuance."

"This town's leadership doesn't understand that we can compromise with these savage, merciless bisexual rapist-killers," The Curmudgeon says. "This Humungus is a reasonable man. He can be negotiated with."

Lord Humungus is quick to agree. "We want exactly what they want. We want to torture them and butcher them. We want to rape them indiscriminately, men, women, children, and poultry. We want to take everything they have and leave them for dead, to be feasted upon by the desert vultures. Surely they can see that, by cooperating, we can both achieve all of our goals together. They will finally have peace, and we will finally have murdered every single one of them."

He seems reflective as he contemplates the misunderstanding between the cultures. "The savage marauding somewhat-gay biker-gang culture is a Culture of Peace. I do not want to set my beloved Dogs of War on these people. But they force me to. All of this senseless violence. And for what?"

One resident thinks she knows. "It's all about the oil," says an unnamed, chubby-but-hot blonde woman whose breasts seem perpetually in danger of falling out of her wide-open blouse, but never quite do. "It's just about the oil-well in the middle of our town. That's all this is about." She says she recently protested a speech by the town's leader, Pappagallo, waving a sign reading "NO BLOOD FOR GUZZOLINE."

Outside commentators see no easy answers, no obvious way to break the unending "cycle of violence."

Some have suggested that the only possible solution to the town's dilemma is the arrival of a mysterious, amoral drifter who can drive like an absolute madman but who is haunted by the deaths of his wife and daughter. The arrival of such a hero, it is imagined, will unite the town behind a single plan of action and lead to a daring daylight escape to the more civilized coastal areas, where there's "nothing to do but breed."

But Auntie Entity, Mayor for Life of neighboring Bartertown, rejects this solution as being "too easy." "We don't need another hero," she says as she polishes her chainmail boustier. "We just need to find the way home."

Just Begging for Death

2007-09-17T11:58:00.000-06:00

I’m a dead man. Yep, I’m dead for sure. You see, the other day I was a little bored at work and decided to doodle. And while doodling, what came out of my blasphemous pen? Images of Muhammad! Just so you all can see how dead I am, I’ve posted the offending images.

Here’s Muhammad enjoying a cup of tea.

Here’s Muhammad holding a bunny and scratching it beneath its little furry chin.

Here’s Muhammad water skiing.

The moment some radical Islamist sees these, my head and my neck will part ways, I’m sure.

Of course, I’m joking – sort of. My point is that by doing something as stupid as drawing a cartoon, I can send millions of people into a murderous rage. And, out of those millions, enough of them will be proactive to put a life in danger over it. That’s why several Danish cartoonists are currently living under protection because of their drawings and, recently, Swedish artist Lars Vilks had the audacity to craft a crudely drawn image of a dog with something that may or may not be Muhammad’s head.

http://www.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idUSL1723208720070917?feedType=RSS&feedName=worldNews&rpc=22&sp=true

This kind of homicidal lunacy has to stop. We cannot continue to allow a small group of seventh-century backwards inbred nutjobs to threaten our rights and safety. The industrialized world needs to make it clear to the millions of Muslims that our God-given right to free speech won’t stop when it runs up against their theology.

While writing this, my poison pen struck again.

Here’s Muhammad telling the radicals Islamists what he thinks of them.

Lack of Global Warming Endangers Global Warming Activist

2007-09-05T17:23:00.000-06:00

Global warming exists. So does global cooling, global fair-to-middlin’, and global just-about-right-for-football.

After spending years in college pursuing a history degree with a focus on climates, biology, and their interaction with history, it’s safe to say that I’m pretty skeptical of a lot of the statements made by many in the global warming camp. Some are more grounded than others, but all too often the data isn’t published by the actual scientists and climatologists who did the research. Science is generally pretty boring, so it’s only when someone makes a worst-case scenario and somebody in the news industry picks up on it, that you hear about it. Throw in the politicians who need votes to survive and the presidents of non-profit organizations who make more than $200k a year (most of them) and you’ve got a recipe for grade-A bullshit.

Plenty of people believe this bullshit, but not many do something about it. One person has. Now he’s in deep shit because of it.

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22359472-5005961,00.html

Adrian Flanagan, a British yachtsperson (calling him a yachtsman is just pushing it too far) decided to show the world just how bad global warming is by circumnavigating the Earth through the all the Arctic Ocean’s melted ice. As someone with more faith in politically motivated bullshit than in actual observation, Flanagan set out on his epic tale even after being told by the Russians that the supposedly melted ice was in fact very solid and that it was a kamikaze mission. Well, much to Flanagan’s consternation, heavier-than-expected ice has him trapped off a small island. He’s calling for a nuclear-powered Russian ice-breaker to get his ass out of trouble. The Russians have better things to do and have so far told him, “tough shitsky.”

Flanagan isn’t taking his defeat at the hands of Mother Nature well—his manager describes him as “pretty fed-up.” Worse, polar bears, which are endangered by global warming, are looking to endanger Flanagan a little themselves.

Perhaps they don’t understand that he’s too environmentally conscious to eat.

Of Arrogance and Apologies

2007-08-30T14:23:00.000-06:00

I work in the print industry as a buyer, and previously as a technical editor. I’ve spent a lot of time in the halls of these various institutions and one thing that becomes obvious immediately is that most of those who follow this career path are politically liberal. In some cases, they are rabidly liberal and could easily qualify as socialists, communist, anarchists, or just plain nut-jobs. Another thing is that people assume that everyone else in the work area is also liberal and that they are therefore free to express opinions about conservatives, republicans, or religion that would be taboo and offensive in other work spaces. As a conservative republican with religious inclinations, it’s definitely a minority experience.

However, I’m no shrinking violet. If someone makes a statement that is offensive to me, I let them know it. Usually, the offender is embarrassed, stammers an apology, and there’s an uncomfortable silence as they realize that they’ve said something that makes them sound like a horse’s ass. Of course, I’m not rude about it; I can laugh at myself and my own beliefs if it’s genuinely funny; and, I don’t tell people to shut up (saying things that make you a horse’s ass is a constitutionally protected right, one that I take advantage of often). Still, it can put a damper on things when they realize that I’m not “one of them.”

What I find most difficult about the overwhelming slant of my profession is the arrogance that comes with it. Anyone who believes that they are beyond fault by virtue of the sheer wonderfulness of their beliefs, whether those are liberal, conservative religious, ideological, or whatever, just pisses me off. And when the dissenting opinion is not only ignored, but ridiculed without review, that really pisses me off. That doesn’t mean you can’t ignore stupid things, but by God, you’d better at least listen to the smart ones.

The AP/Ipsos recently ran a poll to discover if political persuasion was relative to how much people read (http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8R5J3RG0&show_article=1). They discovered that self-described liberals read an average of 9 books a year, self-described conservatives read an average of 8 books a year, and self-described moderates read an average of 5 books a year. The poll also found that 22 percent of liberals and moderates said they had not read a book within the past year, compared with 34 percent of conservatives. When asked by Alan Fram of AP about why the disparity (which, incidentally, is within the margin of error of the non-scientific poll), former Colorado senator and current president of the American Association of Publishers, Pat Schroeder put her foot in her mouth up to her knee.

"The Karl Roves of the world have built a generation that just wants a couple slogans: 'No, don't raise my taxes, no new taxes,'" Pat Schroeder, president of the American Association of Publishers, said in a recent interview. "It's pretty hard to write a book saying, 'No new taxes, no new taxes, no new taxes' on every page."

And

She said liberals tend to be policy wonks who "can't say anything in less than paragraphs. We really want the whole picture, want to peel the onion."

As a person who doesn’t brook this kind of crap in my own office, I let her know that I was none too happy with her smug statement. I sent off the following email to Ms. Schroeder’s email address at AAP.

Ms. Schroeder,
As a print buyer buyer for a Colorado publisher (American Water Works Assocation, www.awwa.org) and a conservative, I am offended by your quote in Alan Fram's AP article.

"The Karl Roves of the world have built a generation that just wants a couple slogans: 'No, don't raise my taxes, no new taxes,'" and "It's pretty hard to write a book saying, 'No new taxes, no new taxes, no new taxes' on every page."

This kind of smug arrogance on the part of publishing industry leaders is common and far more dangerous to our industry than any censorship. What publisher can wonder why sales are flat to slightly rising when those who create the books believe half of the population is to be relegated to "slogans" and simple-minded fare?

Not only do I read, but I work hard to get dozens of scientific and technical texts published every year. When we conduct our annual review of which publishing organizations that we will join (we are members of PubsWest and are joining the Colorado Independent Publishers Assocation) I will strongly suggest that we do not consider the Association of American Publishers because it is an organization that is interested in only half of our audience.

Neal Hyde

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who got a little pissed off. I recently received the following reply.

Dear Passionate Fellow Reader:
Thank you for your concern about statements attributed to me in the Associated Press story about their reading poll. I was away when the story broke. When I returned and read the article, I kicked myself. The first principle in politics is to remember some journalists are really fight promoters…and I clearly forgot that principle when talking to this reporter! My comments were taken WAY out of context. He had asked, why the 12% difference between liberals and conservatives reading habits? With tongue in cheek I told him liberals were incapable of saying anything in less than a tome and have slogan envy, etc. Clearly, he went to work editing my response to stir up both sides...sigh. I am very sorry if my “edited” words caused you deep concern and join you in that concern. Obviously, I want everyone to read. These are very difficult, complex times and books are about the last place where one can have more than 7 seconds to complete a thought! Thanks for your inquiry and again, I am very sorry liberties were taken to blow my comments way out of context and proportion...
Keep on reading,
Pat Schroeder
AAP President & CEO
P.S. To my conservative friends, the irony is the story broke while I was on a cruise with Oliver North, Ed Meese, Newt Gingrich and others of the Freedom Forum. To my liberal friends, I still believe to my core we must listen to everyone.

While I appreciate that there was a reply to my email, I can’t help but notice that she avoids responsibility for her statements by claiming to have been taken out of context and misquoted. It is possible that Fram did a hatchet job on Schroeder’s words, (AP has fallen far in quality), but I smell an awful lot of authenticity in her original statements. Although the exact words haven’t been spoken, I’ve heard these very sentiments expressed by many people within the walls of my work and in the pages of Editor & Publisher Magazine, Publisher’s Weekly, and other publishing/printing periodicals. I don’t believe that Schroeder was speaking tongue in cheek, but expressing a whole-hearted smug superiority that her “side” was better because it was supposedly more well-read, and that those of other persuasions were of lesser intelligence and desired/deserved simpler, easier to understand material. If you have a hard time seeing how arrogant and dangerous that is, let’s just substitute a few words.

"The Howard Deans of the world have built a generation that just wants a couple slogans…and She said republicans tend to be policy wonks who "can't say anything in less than paragraphs. We really want the whole picture, want to peel the onion."

Or

"The Jews of the world have built a generation that just wants a couple slogans…and She said National Socialists tend to be policy wonks who "can't say anything in less than paragraphs. We really want the whole picture, want to peel the onion."

Sorry Ms. Schroeder, but I don’t think that your explanation/apology works. You were just embarrassed, stammered an apology, and now we’re enjoying an uncomfortable silence.

Trust me, I know what it sounds like.

A Few of My Favorite Places

2007-08-21T12:13:00.000-06:00

I live in a beautiful area. We’re nestled against a jagged spur of rock called a hogback that jumps right out of the rolling plains to form a minor barricade before you start climbing into the Rocky Mountains. At the turn of the last century, it was part of the Ken Caryl Ranch, and that’s what the area is called today. On the other side of the hogback are more homes, mostly wealthy folk but not all, and the beginning of the Rockies.

Being so close to the mountains means that wildlife is close as well. There’s a few spots that we like to go that are prettier than others, but as a rule, we don’t have to go too far. Here’s a couple of our favorites.

Roxborough State Park
It took us a couple of years to find this state park, even though its only five minutes away, because it was cleverly hidden behind a fire station (I’m not joking). The dirt road that leads to it doesn’t appear to be anything special, but when you go over the rise and see, it’s amazing. It occupies the south end of the Ken Caryl valley and is filled with great rock formations, trails, and ton of Mule Deer and other animals. They’re used to people, and as long as you don’t get within about fen feet, they couldn’t care less. One year, the inlaws and us stood on the trail and watched bucks spar not more than thirty feet away.

Mt. Evans State Park

Mt. Evans has the highest paved road in the continental United States and terminates at a visitors center and an observatory at more than 14,000 feet. We have to be careful as there’s about 40% less atmosphere at that level and we get a slight case of altitude sickness, not to mention a helluva sunburn. The road is only open between mid-to-late June and early September as any other time the snowpack is too thick to push through. It’s what is known as a microclimate (sub-alpine) and although it’s about an hour’s drive from Denver on clear days you can easily see the city from the top. Toward the summit you can see herds of Rocky Mountain Bighorn and big-ass mountain goats. Some dumbasses sometimes think the animals are tame and want to pet them - bad idea. Those horns on the goats are razor sharp, and I’ve seen a few people come close to being perforated for getting too close to a lamb.

Rocky Mountain National Park

This gem of a place is about an hour away, but it’s worth the drive. We last went in late July when the snowpack wasn’t too bad, but we still wound up crawling along a lot of icy trails. However, it’s beautiful and there’s critters everywhere. The elk herds are massive, and there’s more than a few trophy racks in there.

Ken Caryl Valley

Just on the other side of the hogback (about half mile away) we’ve got plenty to enjoy. This last Sunday we went for a little drive and ran across a couple of nice mule deer bucks just sauntering around the neighborhood. A small group of does and a fawn were also seen. One nice buck was in the middle of the road eating crabapples from a nearby tree and causing something of a traffic jam.

The return of the blog and horror

2007-08-16T16:02:00.000-06:00

Man, it’s been a while since I’ve blogged. I see a direct correlation between my blogging and my taking on a new job at my work. Instead of a technical editor, I’m now a print manager and buyer. That means I take the books and promotional material my organization puts out (www.awwa.org) and get them printed and distributed to those who want to buy them. It’s a fun job and requires a lot of work. I’m getting the job down now, so it’s time to blog again.

Let’s see…what do I want to rant on? Hold on, let me get my soapbox…Yeah, here it is…

I have a personal theory that trends tend to move on about 17-year cycles, give or take a few years. That is, popular culture recreates the trends that occurred roughly that long ago. During the 90s and early part of this century, clothing, movies, etc. tended to mimic the same trend lines shown during the 1970s. Now, in the year 2007, we’re seeing a return to the same themes and images of the 1980s.

One of the ways this trend line has an effect on me (in addition to letting me bring out a lot of my very old t-shirts from retirement) is in cultural tastes. I like to write horror fiction, and so keeping an ear on the pulse of the public taste is important if I ever want to be published. For the past ten years, horror has been struggling. Horror had its own section at the bookstore and several strong publishers. However, around the mid-to-late 1990s there was an implosion in the market. Too many really lousy books were being published and too many readers went elsewhere. Certain subcategories of horror fiction remained strong (vampires, sexy vampires, erotic vampires, vampires with sexy erotic themes) but many did not. Several publishers that specialized in horror went belly up or were bought by larger groups and plugged into their “genre” fiction departments.

But, as I’ve written here before, things are looking up for those who like to look on the dark side. The same trends that pulled people away are swinging back and horror is becoming hot again. Not only are books on horror selling well, but other genres have adopted horror elements and made them their own. The best example is in romance novels, the Borg of fiction, where “supernatural romance” is a hot item. Look at stories like The Da Vinci Code or James Rollins Black Order, which are thrillers with supernatural elements, or more properly supernatural technothrillers.

While some purists may not like this diversification and absorption of horror and supernatural themes, I think it’s a good thing. Horror by itself is a pillar of the fiction community, but it’s all by its lonesome. When applied with other genres and ideas, it’s stronger, not weaker. Besides, it’s not like the first time this has happened. A Christmas Carol, Wuthering Heights, Jude the Obscure, The Heart of Darkness; all of these are classics of literature, but they’re also horror stories and better for it.

Look at the Funny Christians

2007-01-24T16:19:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, I traveled with my folks a lot, and we would often listen to recordings of old-time radio shows. Fibber McGee & Molly, Amos & Andy, The Shadow, the Jack Benny Show, and others played often and I still remember some of the funniest riffs. One from Fibber McGee & Molly was when they took Fibber’s little niece to a museum to see famous paintings. At a painting of Christians being fed to Nero’s lions, the little girl began to cry.

“Oh, are you sad because the people are being killed for believing in Jesus?” Fibber asked.

“No,” said the little girl. “I’m sad because there’s a little lion in the corner who isn’t getting any.”

That’s funny.

What isn’t funny is when someone looks at other people’s religious beliefs and denigrates them for their devotion. It’s usually to make themselves appear smarter, better, faster, whatever than those who believe. It’s condescending and infuriating when it happens to you. It’s even more infuriating when those who are doing it are trying to sell you something.

The democratic party realized a while ago that many of their candidates failed to appeal to religious voters because democrats were perceived as being anti-religious, and especially anti-evangelical Christian. This perception was drawn from years of promoting legislation that went against Christian values, as well as a steady stream of anti-religious/anti-Christian statements, satire, and general attitude. The hard-core left is particularly well-known for venomous and arrogant anti-Christian material. In short, many Christians looked in the democrat’s “big tent” and didn’t like what they saw, and went elsewhere.

And so began a top-down push from democrats and democrat candidates to embrace religion. For some, this was a no-brainer as they had (and still have) strong Christian beliefs. For many, however, this was an uncomfortable exercise at best, and the transparency and hypocrisy of the act was offensive to both believer and unbeliever. Still, the democrats have pushed forward, loudly proclaiming that God is not a republican (which is true) and that, in general, liberals are just as religious as conservatives (which is not).

But not everyone has gotten the memo.

The daughter of Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House and democratic example-of-diversity-in-chief, has recently finished up another movie project. Her others have been well-known (if not well-received) documentaries on the 2000 and 2004 elections, and she’s famous for injecting herself and her liberal opinions into the features. Of course, the editing is slanted to give her an edge in conversations with conservatives that she doesn’t naturally enjoy, and she’s well understood as a poster child for liberalism and the democratic left.

Alexandra Pelosi’s most recent venture takes her among evangelical Christians as a kind of tour-guide and classification expert, like a Crocodile Hunter with superiority issues.

“Crikey, that’s a Pentecostal, and he’s really mad. Look at the way he’s puffing himself up with religiousness to frighten an aggressor. It’s so great to see them in the wild!”

She makes her way sophisticated, liberal way through red-state territory, giving blue-staters a view of their lesser brethren. Not only does she condescend, but she mocks and distorts those she’s looking at through the microscope, like a scientist derisively sorting through bacteria. She even has the gall to say that she doesn’t do this, though it’s plain in her voice and attitude.

When you look at the democrats this year and in the coming years, remember, this apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree.

http://www.denverpost.com/ostrow/ci_5062334

Jawn Karry Getz Stuk in Irawk

2006-12-27T11:04:00.000-07:00

Ben of Mesopotamia, a Harvard-trained member of the armed forces in Iraq and a blogger, has posted a very interesting report about Sen. John Kerry’s recent visit to Iraq. After his pre-election maybe-joke-gone-wrong slight to the troops about only dummies going into the Army and Iraq, he’s not exactly well-loved by the armed services. Apparently, not only was his press conference a dud (one reporter showed up, but only because it was his duty), but he was actively ignored and avoided by everyone.

Check out Ben of Mesopotamia’s blog and see what happens when you go to someplace where you’re about as popular as a flatulent Osama Bin Laden.

http://benofmesopotamia.blogspot.com/2006/12/schaudenfraude-or-john-kerry-visits.html

Christmas in the Hyde House

2006-12-26T16:40:00.000-07:00

It was a white Christmas for us at the Hyde household, and a pretty darn nice one were it not for one thing. But, I’ll wait on that for a minute.

Rather than provide a list of crap given and received this year, I’ll only hit the highlights. My wife is a big fan of mystic topaz (a treated form of topaz that looks better than much more expensive sparklies), and I gifted her with a mystic topaz ring she’d had her eye on.

I also gave my wife a short (3 sessions) class in photography by a pair of local photo gurus. Frankly, we’ve got a lot of useless crap in our lives and don’t really need more stuff. What we need are skills and time. I can’t give people time other than my own (and there isn’t a lot of that), but I can help my loved ones get better at what they enjoy.

The little guy got a ton of ‘Mater stuff (Tow Mater from the Pixar movie Cars), which is just what he wanted. At three-years old he’s into trucks and Mater is just the ticket.

For the big girl, she got a ton of books. The kid reads really fast, but she’s got the attention span of a ferret on speed. I’m also going to sign her up for some sports this winter, so she can get her energy out without torturing her little brother.

I got a bunch of stuff, including a really fine miniature of Serenity, the ship from Firefly and the movie Serenity. Also coming my way were socks (which I desperately needed) and shirts (which I also needed) and a few books and movies. All in all, it was a fine haul. But when the day was over, I wasn’t entirely satisfied. I thought about it, and I couldn’t figure it out, then it hit me. I’d been so wrapped up in the hoolabaloo of our family Christmas that I’d missed it.

I didn’t follow the admonition of Christ – to give.

This year my work didn’t give out gift cards like they did the previous two years. The cards totaled $100, which was a nice treat, but not for me. Both years I gave them to our church leader to give to those in need. Now, I don’t say that to aggrandize myself, but to point out that I didn’t do that this year. I didn’t sacrifice for others. I took.

So, I’m going to make an early resolution: This is the last year that happens. I don't know how I'm going to make it work, but I will.

Snowbound

2006-12-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

Global warming my ass.

Colorado has a great climate. There’s a sunny blue sky about 300 days of the year and the temperatures are usually mild, even during the height of winter. When it snows, it usually melts off within 48 hours.

Then there’s the other times.

We were recently hit with a powerful storm from the southeast, a route we rarely get. Nearly 5,000 people were stuck at the airport, but that really doesn’t tell you everything. At my home, which is in a suburb nestled against the Rocky Mountains, we had 24 hours of blizzard. I measured 35 inches on my front lawn, but the wind had picked up and moved a great deal of the snow, so that’s hard to quantify. We were homebound for Wednesday, Dec. 20, and when my wife tried to get to work on Thursday, we couldn’t get the 4x4 down the driveway to the road. It wasn’t until later on Thursday that a bigger 4x4 was able to push the snow out of the way on the road enough for our truck to get going.

It stopped snowing and blowing about noon on Thursday and I spent the next three hours digging out our driveway. The kids were finally able to play and had a great time, but my back required some narcotics to keep me happy.

Now, it’s Dec. 26 and our road still hasn’t been plowed. Five days of above-freezing temps (during the daytime) and we still have a huge pile of snow next to the driveway. The weather-liar is telling us that another powerful storm is going to slam into us on Thursday.

I didn’t know it, but apparently this is an El Nino year. The last time the little boy came ‘round, we had a decent winter but got slammed in March and were snowbound for about a week. If this is how it’s looking this early in the season, I’m thinking we might get hit really hard come February and March, Colorado’s wettest seasons.

I think I’ll invest in food storage and a snowblower.

The Next Big Thing in Horror

2006-12-19T16:46:00.000-07:00

If you read my entry on Zombies (see below), you know that I enjoy looking at trends from a psychological and cultural perspective. I believe that people look to horror for ways to reflect, and hopefully defeat, the real fears that we experience.

My friend, boss, and senior editor, Colin Murcray, and I were driving home from our writing group and discussing what the next big thing for horror was going to be. We came to two primary conclusions.

The first is that the baby boomers will, as they age and die, begin to look to brands of horror that involve life/death themes. These are primarily ghosts and spiritual/paranormal horror, but also includes the Frankenstein and Modern Prometheus stories. I think we’re starting to see this with the success of SciFi’s Ghost Hunters, and its shallow copies.

The other conclusion is that those who grew up reading the Goosebumps series are now entering adulthood. When they read, or when they have kids who read, they’ll return to the things that they enjoyed. The horror they read before will draw them back.

For those of us who read, write, or enjoy horror, I think good times are coming.

The Nativity Story: A Review

2006-12-12T11:57:00.000-07:00

This review is somewhat abbreviated, just as was my viewing experience. My wife and I made it most of the way through the movie, but the power died at the theater and we weren’t able to see that last 20 minutes. Still, I’ve read the book, so I’ve got a good idea of how it turns out.

In a nutshell: This is a wonderful movie. It manages to humanize Mary, Joseph, and everyone in it, while retaining the wonder of the story. Unlike the Cecil B. DeMill films such as Ben Hur and The Robe, there is an air of authenticity to it that lets you glimpse the humble surroundings of the birth of Christ. The hardscrabble lives of Mary and Joseph, the subjugation by the Romans of the Jews, and the inter-family conflicts that must have existed are not glossed over. Instead, they are shown in an entirely familiar way, and thereby let the viewer see that Mary, Joseph, and the others were as human and you and I. The fact that they dealt with these remarkable events with faith and love is a triumph of the human spirit, and shows that God brings out the best in us all.

As for the remarkable events, there are no great choirs or showy special effects. This is a movie that revels in “the still, small voice.” God is ever present, as are angels and miracles, but they quiet and subtle, like the faith of Mary and Joseph.

There is humor, too. The wise men are worth their weight in gold, frankincense, and myrrh in every scene.

Lastly, having been filmed on location, and with an eye toward authenticity, The Nativity Story offers a powerful view of the Holy Land. (Off Topic: After seeing this movie, I can only wonder why people have fought for thousands of years over this dry, desolate, lifeless soil. They should have been fighting for luggage to get to a decent place where things actually grow!)

Make this movie a highlight of your holiday viewing. You will not be disappointed.

Zombies! Sure, but why now?

2006-11-14T11:04:00.000-07:00

As an observer of American culture, I’ve noted trends and mini-trends that come and go with time. As a rule, I think pop culture (including styles in clothing, music, and entertainment) imitates itself about every 15 to 17 years, so that shirt you purchased half a decade ago may still be good if you leave it at the back of the closet long enough.

One avenue of cultural expression I find to be particularly telling is trends in entertainment. Individual movies and books are less than informative, varying with quality and timing to the national consciousness. However, I believe that a trend, where a number of like products sell well to the general public, can be indicative of a public fascination and psychology. For example, during the mid-to-late 70s a series of disaster movies and books reflected the fractured national landscape of the post-Vietnam/Hippie-bastard era. Another example: the UFO/alien invasion material from the 50s was a metaphor for the communist threat.

Of course, not all trends represent some deep-seated psychological issue with the general public. Like Freud said, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

We’re in the midst of one of those micro-trends right now with a proliferation of zombie-related entertainment. Of course, zombies have been a part of horror since the B-movie I Walked With a Zombie, but there seems to be a burst of it recently. I offer the following as my evidence:

Dawn of the Dead remakes
28 Days Later (plus sequel)
Cell by Stephen King
The Rising by Brian Keene (and sequels)
World War Z by Max Brooks
More that I don’t have time to catalog

Why is the zombie genre popular right now? I think I know why. Since 9/11, we’ve faced a new kind of enemy; an enemy that embraces death as a reward and murder as sacrament. Islamofascists are morbid, relentless, intent on destroying the world, seemingly without end, and could be your friendly neighbor (until they turn on you). The zombie matches all these characteristics in spades. So, zombies are a metaphor for our fears of terrorists and all they represent. When we see or read of survivors running from hordes of decaying corpses, it’s all of us standing against a foe that we may or may not be able to stop in a world we can more safely imagine because we know it to be less of a possibility than the real truth.

Of course, the fact that we can represent our fears more safely with flesh-eating zombies than real-life terrorists is pretty frightening all by itself.

Who is Protecting You?

2006-10-31T13:56:00.000-07:00

On Monday, Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.), the 2004 Democratic Presidential nominee, spoke before the Pasedena College. He said the following:

"You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. And if you don't, you get stuck in Iraq," he said.

For this comment, Kerry has been pilloried by many on the right for what is easily seen as a jab at current and former members of the US military. He claims it was a botched joke, but his track record with the military makes that hard to believe. He’s backpedaling hard, but it’s pretty much the end of his aspirations for higher office.

Regardless of what you think about Sen. Kerry, it highlights that many people, especially on the left, think the military is filled with the uneducated, the stupidly aggressive, and those unable to compete in the private sector. This is a crock.

While I didn’t serve in the military (thanks to asthma, which cropped up in my second year of ROTC), I come from a military family and many of my friends have also served or are currently serving. They have served in such diverse positions as convoy protection in Iraq to recruiter (for the Navy in a desert state, ironically) to combat corpsman to MP. With the exception of the MP (who is currently attending college), ALL of them have a bachelor’s degree and many have advanced degrees. The US military is not a dumping ground for the illiterate and those who can’t compete in the private sector. People who fail to respect the military and those who serve in it have no place in our government.

My Big Girl

2006-10-16T10:14:00.000-06:00

As the proud and hard-working daddy of a 9-year old girl, I’m always looking for insight into the pre-teen female mind. Fact is, I don’t have much experience with girls this age (or any age, really), and sometimes I’m just feeling my way as I go. It doesn’t help that she’s our first-born child, 9 going on 19, intensely ADHD, and being raised by a daddy with dorky impulses. A lot of advice on fathering is great, particularly from church and other parents, but it’s often couched in touchy-feeling language that I have a hard time relating to. So, when I find some words of wisdom that speak to me from a perspective I can understand, I cling to it like a fabric softener strip coming out of the dryer.

This brings me to Doug Giles, a blogger from Florida who’s written a great three-part series on being a father to a girl. Raising Girls that Pimps and Thugs Will Hate is a fun, well-thought-out series of comments on how he raised his girls to be self-assured, wise, and decent kids. There’s some that could be added to this, but I think it covers a lot of real-world territory that I haven’t often seen.

http://www.townhall.com/columnists/DougGiles/2006/09/30/raising_girls_that_pimps_and_thugs_will_hate

The ten themes in Raising Girls that Pimps and Thugs Will Hate are:
Teach Them How to Fight.
Teach Them How to Shoot Guns.
Teach Them How to Sense BS.
Teach Them How to Rebel.
Teach Them How to Be Classy.
Teach Them to Despise Anti-Intellectualism.
Teach Them to Be Visionaries.
Teach Them How to Party.
Teach Them the Value of Hard Work.
Teach Them the Importance of Traditional Convictions.

Giles’ style is fun and easy to read. I’ll be adding him to list of bloggers that I enjoy on a regular basis.

At Air America the Hits Keep On…Well, Never Mind

2006-09-13T17:12:00.000-06:00

While this is still just a rumor, it’s a pretty solid one: Air American Radio will undergo a major restructuring on Friday that will include fiscal bankruptcy (to match the moral and intellectual one that occurred at its start). That’s right, the premier and oh-so-touted network of liberal radio is going belly up.

http://thinkprogress.org/2006/09/13/air-america-bankruptcy/

This has been in process for some time as the network lost income like a sieve (most of the stations that carried AAR programming were being paid to do so). Also, the corporate heads have been launching themselves away faster than Hezbolla missiles aimed at Israel. Finally, their on-air talent has been reduced to the level of the crazy bum who stands on the side of the road with his pants around his ankles.

After I read the report, I tuned in to AAR just to get my bit of schadenfreude and managed to stomach about six minutes of Randy Roads (who sounded like she was about to cry) spouting liberal last-resort manure about Bush stealing elections and conservatives being fascists.

The forums are even more entertaining. While a few people openly admit that AAR stinks as a business and entertainment venture, others zip off into lala-land by blaming Bush, conservatives, and various conspiracy theories for the demise. Even Thinkprogress’ headline is a silly denial of reality: Air America To Declare Bankruptcy, But Progressive Radio Still Strong.

Of course, the one business that is trying to sell AAR and salvage it is Clear Channel Radio, which has been demonized by the left. Irony, thy name is AAR.

As I’ve written before, I don’t mind liberal media sources so long as they clearly state their bias. It’s healthy for the republic to have public discourse on the issues, even though it’s usually singing to the choir. But AAR stunk on ice. The shows were moronic and the debate was little more than childish name-calling and reading from DNC press releases. Just as when I tuned it today it was “Bush cheated” and “conservatives are fascists,” last year when I tuned it, it was five minutes of yelling “Christers!” and giggling.

No matter how you slice it, that’s lousy entertainment.

Sounds Familiar

2006-09-06T11:40:00.000-06:00

Kofi Annan is the best salesman the anti-UN folks in the United States have. His bold stands against honesty, decency, responsibility, and peace have left the UN little more than an ironic joke. By playing lickspittle to every anti-US, anti-Israel, anti-democracy regime, his work has only accelerated conflicts and emboldened evil across the world.

He tried to work his special brand of diplomacy with Iran by meeting with Iranian President Ahmadinejad. After meeting with the man regarding the terrorist-supporting Islamofascists’ nuclear aspirations, here’s what Kofi had to say:

“The main thing is we have to avoid confrontation. This is an issue which requires patience and perseverance. The viable solution is negotiation.”

and

“The Iranians assured me that they are not seeking nuclear weapons and their intentions are peaceful.”

How can anyone say that with a strait face?

Of course, this isn’t the first time a leader came back from consultations and made such statements.

We, the German Führer and Chancellor, and the British Prime Minister, have had a further meeting today and are agreed in recognizing that the question of Anglo-German relations is of the first importance for two countries and for Europe.

We regard the agreement signed last night and the Anglo-German Naval Agreement as symbolic of the desire of our two peoples never to go to war with one another again.

We are resolved that the method of consultation shall be the method adopted to deal with any other questions that may concern our two countries, and we are determined to continue our efforts to remove possible sources of difference, and thus to contribute to assure the peace of Europe.

My good friends this is the second time in our history that there has come back from Germany to Downing Street peace with honor. I believe it is peace in our time.

Those are, of course, Neville Chamberlain’s great words spoken in September of 1938.

Kofi Annan and Chamberlain: blood brothers born decades apart.

Katrina, One Year Later

2006-08-29T15:35:00.000-06:00

I’m a victim of Katrina.

I’m a victim of overblown “one year after Katrina stories,” (http://www.denverpost.com/frontpage/ci_4220990 and http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14533172/site/newsweek/?GT1=8404 are two examples), and it really hurts. If I read another story about an illiterate, uneducated, unwed mother with a gazillion kids who is emotionally crippled, facing eviction, or otherwise in dire straits, I’m going to be sick. Maybe I’m just a cynic, but I’m willing to bet the people in these stories weren’t exactly fireballs of self-reliance before the storm, and they sure as hell aren’t now. I love the line in the Denver Post story: "You have to understand New Orleans people," he says. "We're not the kind of people who move around. We're stay-put people." Sounds to me like a lot of them are “don’t-do-shit people.”

A great many of the folks in the stories say they feel like they’re being squeezed out of their evacuation areas and pine to return home to New Orleans. Maybe that’s because New Orleans is where there’s stuff they know, or maybe its because other states of the union expect people to work for a living and not live indefinitely on handouts. Another fine line out of the Post story: “When Amussen applied for public hurricane assistance in June she was ineligible. She was told she should be working.” Gollygoshgee, you mean somebody in the mean ol’ guvmint had the chutzpa to tell somebody applying for a tax-funded handout NINE MONTHS AFTER THE STORM that they should get a job? What is the world coming to when you can’t sit on your lazy ass and get paid for it?

Here’s a news flash: It was a big fucking storm that wiped out a whole helluva lot—deal with it. Hurricanes, tidal waves, volcanoes, earthquakes, fires, and all manner of biblical shit happens all around the world on a regular basis, and it’s unlikely to stop anytime soon. As human beings, our job is to get up off the ground, clean ourselves off, and get back to surviving and thriving. Billions of dollars in aid (which is exactly what has been spent) won’t do you a bit of good if you’re a dumbass who won’t take responsibility for your own damn life. Sometimes the most Christian thing a person can do is slap your brother upside the head and say, “get your shit together!”

Dark Pearls of Wisdom: Married Life

2006-08-29T14:52:00.000-06:00

It’s rarely a good idea to point out your mate’s poor choices in life, lest you become one of them.

My Cartoon Journal

2006-07-31T16:34:00.000-06:00

I haven’t been updating my blog as often as usual, as things have been very busy lately. Now that I’ve figured out how to put pictures on this blog, I’ll be doing some more of those as they become available.

For the past two decades I’ve kept a journal of sorts by drawing cartoons about the more exasperating events in my life. These have shown up in letters, meeting notes, and all kinds of other places where I’ve had a few minutes and the material available. My wife and folks like them, but I’ve never considered them much to hoot about. Still, here’s an a couple that were the product of a slow meeting on very hard chairs. Because these were produced on lined paper, there are lines. I’ll see about a way to get rid of those in the future.

After delaying a few years, I finally relented and purchased a used Xbox system. Truly, I don’t need to spend more time in front of a TV screen or monitor, but I had hoped that I’d find some family-friendly games that we could all play. So far, Simpson’s Hit & Run and a particularly goofy game called Monkey Ball have been the biggest hits, although I have a penchant for the Mechwarrior series. However, things haven’t been as peachy as I would have liked. Despite buying a discounted, used system, my wife didn’t particularly like the cost and my two kids, Vanessa and Caleb, spend more time fighting each other than they did before. Sheesh.

I’ve been particularly spacey lately, with my attention span reduced to the duration of a gnat’s hiccup. I hope things get better or I’m in trouble.

Because Some Things Need To Be Made Fun Of...

2006-07-18T16:45:00.000-06:00

A while back I found this page of faux romance novel covers and I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. I really recommend you go to this page and enjoy them. http://worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/

There's another page of those other people have sent in, and they're just as priceless. http://worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/readers_covers.htm

Here's a couple to give you the idea.

Different Words, Same Song, Decades Apart

2006-07-13T15:58:00.000-06:00

I enjoy the old Marty Robbins albums, particularly Trail Songs & Gunfighter Ballads, a great collection of old-time favorites, including El Paso, Big Iron, Utah Carol, and many others. I picked up some of these as MP3s along with some other more recent tunes, including Toby Keith’s Beer For My Horses (I’m not a big fan, but I gotta admit, there’s some real appeal in his songs).

I was pleasantly surprised to realize that Big Iron and Beer For My Horses have a decidedly similar theme. I don’t know if it’s just my personal tastes or that the same threat still runs through country/western music. The desire for justice may be a simple one, but it’s a damn good one to have.

Big Iron
To the town of Agua Fria rode a stranger one fine day
Hardly spoke to folks around him didn't have too much to say
No one dared to ask his business no one dared to make a slip
for the stranger there among them had a big iron on his hip

Big iron on his hip

It was early in the morning when he rode into the town
He came riding from the south side slowly lookin' all around
He's an outlaw loose and running came the whisper from each lip
And he's here to do some business with the big iron on his hip

big iron on his hip

In this town there lived an outlaw by the name of Texas Red
Many men had tried to take him and that many men were dead
He was vicious and a killer though a youth of twenty four
And the notches on his pistol numbered one an nineteen more

One and nineteen more

Now the stranger started talking made it plain to folks around
Was an Arizona ranger wouldn't be too long in town
He came here to take an outlaw back alive or maybe dead
And he said it didn't matter he was after Texas Red

After Texas Red

Wasn't long before the story was relayed to Texas Red
But the outlaw didn't worry men that tried before were dead
Twenty men had tried to take him twenty men had made a slip
Twenty one would be the ranger with the big iron on his hip

Big iron on his hip

The morning passed so quickly it was time for them to meet
It was twenty past eleven when they walked out in the street
Folks were watching from the windows every-body held their breath
They knew this handsome ranger was about to meet his death

About to meet his death

There was forty feet between them when they stopped to make their play
And the swiftness of the ranger is still talked about today
Texas Red had not cleared leather fore a bullet fairly ripped
And the ranger's aim was deadly with the big iron on his hip

Big iron on his hip

It was over in a moment and the folks had gathered round
There before them lay the body of the outlaw on the ground
Oh he might have went on living but he made one fatal slip
When he tried to match the ranger with the big iron on his hip

Big iron on his hip

Beer For My Horses
Well a man come on the 6 o'clock news
Said somebody's been shot, somebody's been abused
Somebody blew up a building
Somebody stole a car
Somebody got away
Somebody didn't get too far yeah
They didn't get too far

Grandpappy told my pappy, back in my day, son
A man had to answer for the wicked that he done
Take all the rope in Texas
Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys
Hang them high in the street for all the people to see that

(Chorus)
Justice is the one thing you should always find
You got to saddle up your boys
You got to draw a hard line
When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune
We'll all meet back at the local saloon
We'll raise up our glasses against evil forces
Singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses

We got too many gangsters doing dirty deeds
We've got too much corruption, too much crime in the streets
It's time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground
Send 'em all to their maker and he'll settle 'em down
You can bet he'll set 'em down 'cause
(Chorus x2)

Japan Quietly Gives UN The Finger

2006-07-10T15:48:00.000-06:00

Here’s an interesting observation that pretty much blew past me until it was pointed out. I guess my reading between the lines skill needs to be sharpened.

http://crosspatch.redstate.com/story/2006/7/10/154241/279

So, the Japanese, who have been lobbying for years for a permanent seat on the UN Security Council, blithely ignore the UN when it comes to their national security. It makes me believe that the whole US vs. UN thing about Iraq had a greater influence on the world than merely separating the men from the boys. Those nations who were paying attention realized that the when it comes to international threats like N. Korea, the UN is about as effective at protecting them as the UN charter is at stopping bullets.

Ding Dong, the Bitch is Dead

2006-06-13T16:57:00.000-06:00

I guess people in deserts want to wear shorts and have air conditioning after all (see my post, Saving the World, One Murder At A Time). Last week, everyone’s favorite murderer, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, was on the wrong end of 2 500 lb bombs delivered courtesy of America. Burn in Hell, you rat-bastard.

Two things emerge from this. 1) He was betrayed from the inside, and it was somebody close, most likely at the behest of Iraq’s actual Iraqi insurgents. 2) Not everyone is happy that a decidedly murderous and evil man has been dealt justice.

On the first part, reports are coming out that Zarqawi was found because he would often meet with his “spiritual leader” (now he just meets directly with Satan), and the Jordanian intelligence organization had that guy tagged for monitoring. However, for that to be the case, there had to be some cooperation, or a notable failure to obstruct cooperation, between the insider and the Jordanians. This is tantamount to Tojo knowingly letting the Americans get information on Yamamoto’s whereabouts and schedule. It also indicates that the long-standing antipathy toward outsider terrorists by Iraqi terrorists is starting to heat up.

On the second part, even before the body was cold, various folks tried to dismiss for political gain the event that is easily one of the best events of the Iraq War and War on Terror. From UFO-conspiracy theorist left-wing types to Senators, all of them paint less a picture of Zarqawi’s death than their own unwillingness to stand against evil. Regardless of the political affiliation of the CinC, killing bad guys is a good thing.

Dark Pearls of Wisdom: Moving Analogy

2006-06-09T13:35:00.000-06:00

Moving is a lot like having a bowel obstruction that finally breaks loose: You find a lot of things you haven't seen for a while but end up chucking them anyway.

Man, God, and Hungry Lions

2006-06-06T16:49:00.000-06:00

This is a "no bull" article pulled about a modern-day Daniel from Reuters. Just when you thought the world wasn't crazy enough, along comes this guy.

KIEV, Ukraine - A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in the Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said Monday.

“The man shouted, ‘God will save me, if he exists,’ lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions,” the official said.

“A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery.”

The incident on Sunday evening, when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.

I can just imagine the meeting between this nut and God.

Nut: Why didn't you protect me?
God: I did. I had them put concrete barriers everywhere, Dumbass.

Dark Pearls of Wisdom: Asking for Miracles

2006-06-06T16:48:00.000-06:00

When you ask God to move a mountain for you, don't be surprised if he hands you a shovel.

The Coming Bird Flu - What to Expect

2006-06-01T12:17:00.000-06:00

I've been facinated by the influenza pendemic of 1918-1920 ever since I was in high school and I read about it. More specifically, I didn't read about it. Our textbook gave one simple statement, saying something along the lines of "and while the Great War was being waged, an influenza epidemic hit the country killing more than half a million. Meanwhile, the price of shellfish forced many fishermen to..." I reread the sentence and thought, "Holy SHIT! Half a million people in a year dropped dead and it barely warrents a footnote?" Thus began my lifelong inquirey into the Spanish Flue pandemic.

At first, there was little information and I became convinced that the nation had chosen to forget the ugly time, like a form of mass repressed memory. Then books like "The Coming Plague", "Flu", and John Barry's masterpiece "The Great Influenza" made their way and suddenly the world had a pandemic of flu information. Much of it wrong, but at least somebody gave a shit.

Now, my work, American Water Works Assocation (AWWA, a non-profit water utility/water quality advocacy group) is interested in preparing for a potential pandemic and so I put my $0.02 in. Follows is my impromptu report based on my personal research. I hope it has some value to you all.

What to Expect

The following is based off of analysis of the 1918–1920 Influenza pandemic, commonly referred to as the “Spanish Flu.” The modern influenza pandemic may or may not follow these patterns and deviations should be watched for and changes made appropriately.

The Flu
Near 100% contact rate: Virtually every person in the word will be touched by an influenza pandemic. Even some of the most remote locations in the world were touched by the 1918–1920 pandemic and those locations had some of the highest morbidity rates.

Transmission is person-to-person, usually through fluids or bodily contact. The virus does not live long on a sterile surface, and UV and disinfectants are effective against it. There is a possibility that the strain could become airborne, become much more deadly.

28% of the overall population infected.
10-20% of the infected will develop acute influenza infection.
2-5% overall morbidity within the population (1,750,000 in US, based on 2004 data).

Young adults and pregnant women will be disproportionately affected with higher morbidity rates. 26% of pregnant women will miscarry.

30-40% absenteeism at any one time, with a potential overall absenteeism of 60%.

Typical influenza averages 10 days for recuperation.
Acute influenza can average 3–4 weeks required for recuperation, assuming no morbidity. Also, permanent disability is possible.

Influenza kills in a variety of ways. The fastest and most terrifying is an acute influenza attack, during which the victim rapidly develops severe symptoms. However, the most common reason for morbidity is not influenza itself, but secondary infections that follow—the most common being pneumonia. Pneumonia can be viral (roughly 33% of cases) or bacterial (roughly 66% of cases). Anti-bacterial practices (good hygiene and common antibiotics) can prevent many infections and deaths.

The influenza pandemic will not be a single event lasting a short duration. The pandemic will likely last several months, possibly as long as a year or more. The pandemic will likely have several events, or “waves,” during which infection and morbidity rise and fall. The initial wave will likely not be the most lethal, but will be among the most infectious. Following waves will be both infectious and highly lethal. Toward the end of the pandemic, the waves will be less lethal and less infectious as the virus mutates and human immune systems become more efficient at combating it.

The geography of the virus will be uneven, with some areas having lower infection and morbidity rates while others experience higher infection and morbidity rates. This is because of the localized nature of the mutation of the influenza virus, as well as the predominance and nature of local diseases that can cause secondary infections and deaths. Locations with high virulence and morbidity may be quarantined.

Developing a vaccine for the virus will be tricky because of the localized nature of the influenza virus and its ability to rapidly mutate. There will likely be many different vaccines created, with the vaccine delivered matching the local strain. Vaccines will not be widely available until several weeks, possibly months, after the pandemic spreads.

Being vaccinated does not guarantee that a person is immune from a mutant version of the same strain or an imported strain. Vaccinated people should still maintain health and hygiene regimens.

Symptoms
Symptoms of influenza have a rapid and powerful onset, and victims often have a sudden awareness that they are sick. Depending on the course of the influenza (typical vs. acute) the full onset of symptoms can occur within hours and morbidity within 12 hours.

Typical influenza symptoms
· Inflammation of the mucosal membranes in nose, pharynx, and throat
· Inflammation of the tissues beneath the eyelids
· Headache and body aches, sometimes severe
· Fever, 100–103º F
· Exhaustion, sometimes severe
· Cough, sometimes severe
· Cyanosis
· Lung tissue damage (ARDS–Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome, “burned lung”).

Acute symptoms
· Extreme cyanosis
· Extreme pain in joints and headache
· Vomiting
· Pockets of air forming beneath skin; “crackling” when moved
· Extreme earaches, often leading to rupture of eardrum and bleeding.
· Bleeding from orifices, sometimes violently, particularly from the nose
· Renal failure
· Liver failure (Reye’s syndrome)
· Massive lung tissue damage (ARDS–Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome, “burned lung”).

Acute influenza is very dangerous and cases have been reported of people dying within 12 hours of infection, possibly even faster. Morbidity is usually caused by pneumonia-like symptoms, although cases have been reported of deaths resulting from disease exacerbating pre-existing conditions, such as heart disease, diabetes, and hepatitis.

Permanent damage to kidneys, liver, and lungs are possible, leading to lifetime disability.

Post-Recovery Issues
The greatest killer during a pandemic is secondary infections, often bacterial, which have an onset one to three weeks after recovery from the influenza. There is a 7% morbidity rate among those who develop a secondary infection. Workers who have recovered from the virus and are no longer susceptible to direct infection are valuable assets, but their weakened physical health should be monitored and protected. More will die from secondary infections post-recovery than any other cause.

Workplace Issues
Thermometer/fever scanning of employees and visitors at entrance vestibules is advisable.

Limiting visitors and non-employee access to the building is essential. (During the 1918–1920 pandemic, trains and some cities did not allow entry unless certified by a doctor.)

Because of the rapid onset of symptoms, employees may come to work feeling fine and suddenly feel sick during the day. Employees who suddenly feel sick are very contagious and must leave immediately. The areas they have frequented should be sterilized immediately.

Managers and supervisors should have telephone access to people at home to monitor their health and well being, including making sure that they have access to medical care (as available), food, etc. During a pandemic, service organizations will likely work to make sure no one is forgotten, but we must be prepared to do our part as well.

Gloves, masks, and disinfectants should be stockpiled and made available when necessary. Note that the grade of mask is important (viral vs. bacterial, etc.).

No unnecessary meetings. Teleconferences and videoconferences preferred. Allow employees to set up Yahoo Instant Messenger or similar inter-office communication.

Limit funeral attendance and visitation of the sick.

Employees should have a second set of clothes on hand in case they come into contact with contaminant fluids.

The cleaning crew is a potential health threat and may need to be stopped; employees should empty own wastebaskets, vacuum cubicles and areas, etc.

Communal areas must be thoroughly cleaned with bleach or another powerful cleaning agent on a daily basis.

· Kitchen should be closed. If not, coffee makers, can openers, doorknobs, and other kitchen utensils should be cleaned after each use by someone wearing gloves and mask.
· Bathrooms disinfected daily, with Lysol sprays available for before and after use.
· The showers represent a threat as well as an opportunity: while they are a nearly ideal place for secondary infecting agents, employees who have been exposed to contaminant fluids can use them to bathe (strong cleanser needs to be made available) and reduce their risks.
· Doorknobs need to be cleaned, too.

Cubicles must be sterilized often (perhaps every other day) with special attention to objects that are handled, such as keyboards, phones, books, etc.

Personal fans and heaters that could disperse airborne particles should be turned off.

Because the basement is the Denver organization safe zone for tornado warnings, areas of the basement must be specified for each group so no unnecessary mixing of people is done during a tornado warning. Also consider timed evacuation to get people into the basement without mixing.

Because of the long recovery rates possible (and potential disability), AWWA may want to allow short-term access (one or two months) to the pension fund so those infected will have money to get by.

The current employee program for mental well being should be reviewed and possibly expanded for grief counseling, etc.

Extreme Recommendations

The following is something that would minimize the impact of the pandemic on AWWA, but may be considered too extreme. However, I feel that these deserve mentioning.

If the various personnel at AWWA can be limited to zones or areas, the risk of transmission diminishes considerable. The building can be separated into four specific zones based on entrance/egress and bathrooms. Areas can be sealed off with fire doors, plastic sheets, and duct tape. The HVAC system can be compartmentalized as well (only necessary if airborne virus appears).

· Zone 1—Pubs and CESS Entrance by loading dock, bathrooms near northwest entrance.
· Zone 2—Customer Service Entrance by northwest entrance, bathrooms near customer service.
· Zone 3—Exec, VTS, BPS, TSP Main entrance, bathrooms by Exec.
· Zone 4—AwwaRF AwwaRF entrance, bathrooms (will have to share main entrance for 2nd floor).

Those traveling between zones (TSP, Exec) should be gloved and masked at all times.

Due to the rapid onset of acute influenza, it is entirely possible that an employee may collapse at work. Provisions should be made for a quarantine location within the building (possibly for a long-term quarantine, depending on the availability of emergency services). Not to be alarmist, but methods and locations of transportation and storage of a body (possibly for several days) should be addressed.

Final Thoughts

Fear is the greatest threat people face from the pandemic. Although only approximately 28% of the population will be infected, 100% will be afraid of it. The best way to combat fear is education, knowledge, and communication. Although it may seem odd to separate people and still advocate communication, the building has many methods of staying in touch:
· Daily announcements over the loudspeaker
· Email
· Instant Messaging
· Relayed communication through managers and supervisors

To maintain the sense of contact through the pandemic, the Exec will have to make an extra effort to daily reach out to each employee.

Saving the World, One Murder at a Time

2006-05-26T10:45:00.000-06:00

As part of their effort to purify the world, Al Qaeda in Iraq has taken a bold stand against the twin sins that have kept the Earth from becoming a heavenly paradise: men with hairy legs in shorts and Iranian air conditioners.

http://www.washtimes.com/world/20060524-104300-8042r.htm

This can only be seen as further proof that the Al Qaeda insurgency in Iraq is in trouble. It’s a classic response to failure by fundamentalists who realize that their Allah-condoned terrorism isn’t bringing about the divine blessings they’d hoped for. Instead of looking at the real reason for their troubles (such as, oh, say…mass murder?), they rationalize that Allah must not be dishing out the goodness that would otherwise be theirs because someone’s sins are getting in the way. Of course, it couldn’t be someone within Al Qaeda, because Lord knows they’re as pure as the driven snow, so it has to be the sins of the people they are fighting for. It’s time for prayer, soulful introspection, repentance, and executions.

I suspect the decision to do this sounded something like this:

Zarqawi: Let us convene this council of Al Qaeda in Iraq. Praise Allah!

Muhammad: Praise Allah!

Hosni: Praise Allah!

Salam: Praise Allah!

Zarqawi: It’s come to my attention that we’re not doing as well as we could be.

Muhammad: But we’ve killed thousands of innocent civilians!

Hosni: And we’re choking their rivers with our dead!

Salam: Praise Allah!

Zarqawi: I know, I know, but we have to face the facts. We’re disorganized, our supplies are being interdicted, and our safe houses are being discovered and destroyed faster than we can establish them. Worse, we’re running low on suicide bombers.

Muhammad: We could always do like the Palestinians and use retards and old women.

Hosni: I volunteer my mother-in-law. She’s both.

Salam: Praise Allah!

Zarqawi: Those are both good ideas, but we need to get to the root causes of why we are failing. I think I know why, but I want to hear your ideas.

Muhammad: We keep killing the people we’re supposed to be fighting for?

Hosni: We’ve got no internal structure beyond the basic terrorist cell?

Salam: Praise Allah!

Zarqawi: No. You’re missing the big picture. Think outside the mosque.

Muhammad: We have no technical or logistical support beyond the very basics?

Hosni: We’re just a bunch of thugs from a backwards culture where a community recreation center is a donkey tied to a stake?

Salam: Praise A—there’s a new donkey?

Zarqawi: Wrong, wrong, wrong! No wonder we’re getting our asses handed to us. The problem is obvious. Allah isn’t giving us miraculous victories because somebody is too sinful. Do you think the Great Merciful One is going to bless us if we’ve let some infidels in our midst?

Muhammad: Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?

Hosni: But who could it be? We’re all pure here.

Salam: Does it have long eyelashes?

Zarqawi: Well, it’s pretty obvious that someone’s not pulling their own weight. Muhammad, what about you?

Muhammad: I put a bomb on a busload of orphans yesterday, so I’m sure I’m pure.

Zarqawi: Okay. Hosni?

Hosni: I’ve been beheading so many schoolteachers and aid workers that my arm is sore. I’m so pure I’ve stopped defecating.

Zarqawi: Okay, that’s pretty pure. Salam, what about you?

Salam: And a soft tail. It’s got to have a soft, silky tail that I can get a good grip on and—

Zarqawi: Salam! Snap out of it! For the love of Allah, we’re planning jihad here. Pay attention.

Salam: Praise Allah!

Zarqawi: Yeah, yeah, you’re pure, too. All right, I didn’t really think it was anybody here anyway. I mean, hey, we’re Al Qaeda, right? We’re Allah’s right hand men. Praise Allah!

Muhammad: Praise Allah!

Hosni: Praise Allah!

Salam: Praise Donkey!

Zarqawi: So, who’s impure? I’ll tell you who—it’s the people. Somehow infidelism has snuck into our people under our very noses and now it’s running rampant. Why, just the other day, I saw a woman and I could detect the bulge of her shoulder under her burka!

Muhammad: The whore! You must be made of stone to control your manly urges to rape her.

Hosni: I bet she was wearing shoes, the harlot!

Salam: Shoulders are nice too.

Zarqawi: But it’s even worse than that. We men have to be an example, and what do I see on the streets? Men wearing shorts that come to the knee. I mean, holy Mecca, I could see their calves and everything.

Muhammad: It’s an affront to Allah! Knee shorts of the devil stride among us!

Hosni: Well, it is kind of hot.

Salam: Hot calves…mmm.

Zarqawi: And guess what? Do you know the air conditioners that I see on everyone’s window? The green and white ones? Do you know who made them?

Muhammad: Americans?

Hosni: I mean, we live in a desert after all. I sweat like a pig.

Salam: Sweaty pigs…mmm.

Zarqawi: Worse than Americans. They were made by Shiites. We have Shiite air conditioners right here and now in our purified land. You can hear their satanic hum all the time!

Muhammad: It is no wonder that Allah has forsaken us.

Hosni: For crying out loud, it was 105 degrees yesterday. Sometimes I just want to go wallow in the cool mud like a water buffalo.

Salam: Muddy water buffalo…mmm.

Zarqawi: Well, we’re not going to take this kind of impurity lying down. Muhammad, I want you to inform the clerics that they better get off their minarets and lay down the law about these knee shorts and air conditioners. Tell them that if they can’t find something in the Koran, they need to make something up. Got it?

Muhammad: Got it, boss.

Zarqawi: Hosni, I want you to round up your best guys and go execute a bunch of these knee-short wearers. That’ll get the message out that we’re not fooling around here. This place is going to be pure if we have to kill everyone in it.

Hosni: Um…boss?

Zarqawi: Yeah?

Hosni: Won’t, um, won’t shooting the locals piss off the, um...locals? I mean, we’re already having a hard time with them.

Zarqawi: I ain’t running no “Hearts and Minds” show around here, okay? Besides, the only people who will resist are infidels anyway, so it will be a good way to root them out.

Hosni: I don’t know, boss…

Zarqawi: Honsi. Who is Allah’s number one warrior around here?

Hosni: You boss.

Zarqawi: That’s right. And who’s got Allah’s blessing to do whatever he wants to make Iraq an infidel-free paradise?

Hosni: You boss.

Zarqawi: Damn right. Now, I recall a certain jihadi at the last Al Quaeda barbecue wearing pants with the cuffs rolled up and you could almost see his ankle. Any idea who that might be, hmm Hosni? You don’t have any air-conditioning or knee-short inclinations, do you?

Hosni: No sir! I’ll get right on the death squads. No knee shorts will survive!

Zarqawi: That’s the spirit! And Salam, you just do whatever it is you do, okay?

Salam: Praise Allah!

Zarqawi: Praise Allah! Okay, I think this has been a good meeting. Let’s get rolling on this and pretty soon, the whole world will be a Muslim, short-free, air-conditioner-free, world.

What Value Life?

2006-05-15T16:33:00.000-06:00

Most liberals I know feel themselves to be more kind, more considerate, somehow more caring because of their philosophy. But, the truth is, the far left is utterly totalitarian and self-destructive to the lives of all people. Those who don’t want poor people are opposed to people, not poverty. They view soldiers as expendable fools, church-goers as duped fools, and blue-collar workers as exploited fools, with themselves standing above it all like arrogant gods elevated by their own enlightened understanding. The right to life is dependent on if you match their opinion.

Think I’m kidding? Go to http://judicialwatch.org/archive/2006/jw-ru486-report.pdf, and read pages 61-64. It’s a letter written by Ron Weddington of Austin, Texas to President Elect Clinton. Weddington was co-council in the legal team that brought us Roe V. Wade and has been active in liberal circles for many years. His vision of liberalism has much more in common with eugenics and the movie Logan’s Run than with the real world.

Here’s some choice parts.

“But you can start immediately to eliminate the barely educated, unhealthy and poor segment of our country. No, I’m not advocating some sort of mass extinction of these unfortunate people. Crime, drugs and disease are already doing that. The problem is that their numbers are not only replaced but increased by the birth of millions of babie to people who can’t afford to have babies.
“There, I’ve said it. It’s what we all know is true, but we only whisper it, because as liberals who believe in individual rights, we view any program which might treat the disadvantaged differently as discriminatory, mean-spirited and…we…so Republican.”

“You and Hillary are a perfect example…You waited until you were established and in your 30’s to have one child. That is what sensible people do.”

“You made a good start when you appointed Dr. Elders, but she will need a lot of help. You will have to enlist the aid of sports and entertainment stars to counteract the propaganda spread by church officials seeking parishioners, generals seeking cannon fodder and businessmen seeking cheap labor that, through the ages, has convinced the poor that children are necessary to fulfillment as a person.”

“No, government is also going to have to provide vasectomies, tubal ligations and abortions…RU 486 and conventional abortions. Even if we make birth control as ubiquitous as sneakers and junk food, there will still be unplanned pregnancies. There have been about 30 million abortions in this country since Roe V. Wade. Think of all the poverty, crime and misery…and then add 30 million unwanted babies to the scenario. We lost a lot of ground during the Reagan-Bush religious orgy. We don’t have a lot of time left.”

“The middle-class taxpayer will go along with this plan because it will mean fewer dollars for welfare. The retirees will also go along because poor people contribute very little to Social Security.”

“Our survival depends on our developing a population where everyone contributes. We don’t need more cannon fodder. We don’t need more parishioners. We don’t need more cheap labor. We don’t need more poor babies.”

Weddington’s final statements frame his view of himself and the value of additions to the human race:

“P.S. I was co-counsel in Roe V. Wade, have sired zero children and one fetus, the abortion of which was recently recounted by my ex-wife in her book, A Question Of Choice. (Grosset/Putnam, 1992) I had a vasectomy in 1969 and have never had one moment of regret.”
Before you think this man is a lone loony making a shrill cry in the night, know that he had a major impact on President Clinton making the abortion drug RU-486 available in the US despite both the manufacturer’s refusal and the FDA’s hesitance based on potential lethality. Weddington is just one voice in a chorus of liberal hatred of our own species.

As a father of two, a parishioner, a brother of a sailor, a friend of soldiers and marines, and someone who values innocent life, this man’s views sicken me. Compare them to the following recounted by George Will:

“At a town meeting, a man demands to know what the candidate would do about “all these bastards’’ born to welfare mothers. The candidate, Klein recalls, “glared at the man — he seemed truly angry — and said, ‘First, sir, we must remember that it is our duty to love all the children.’’’

So spoke, during the hotly contested South Carolina primary in 2000, an indignant George W. Bush. Politics still has exhilarating moments.”

Love or hate Bush, you must admit that the difference is stunning.

A Letter from a Madman

2006-05-15T14:35:00.001-06:00

I’m probably going to come off paranoid in this posting, but I think there’s still some cause for alarm.

I spent my lunch hour reading over the letter from Ahmadi-Najad, the president of Iran, to President Bush. While I’m not sure the translation is the best (Farsi to English is notoriously difficult) and reading into another man’s mind is far from easy, there’s some things that leave me particularly concerned. I suggest you read the letter yourself, if you haven’t already.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/bsp/hi/pdfs/09_05_06ahmadinejadletter.pdf

To summarize, the content of the letter is as follows:

Bitching about Iraq and the WMD issue
Gitmo and the US fighting the War on Terror by putting terrorists in deep freeze
Israel – creation and existence
Palestine – how the good people of Palestine voted in terrorists and now the world tells them to change
World opinion of the US
9/11 and how it may have been a conspiracy by somebody
How the media lies and keeps the US public worried about terrorists
Bush’s responsibility to the world
A call to repent and accept Islam
Denouncing the UN (not in so many words), democracy, and liberalism.

Throughout the letter, Ahmadi-Najad refers back to Bush’s belief in Christ, the obligations of Christian leaders, and the Christian Millennium. Although he states that all people of the Book should be unified, he also calls on all people to become Islam.

There’s some specific things that I really don’t like

“Can one deny the signs of change in the world today? Is this situation of the world today comparable to that of ten years ago? Changes happen fast and come at a furious pace.”

I don’t think he’s referring to the 1991 Gulf War. I think he’s referring to election in 1996 that put moderates in the political side of Iran and how they’ve recently been kicked out. The part about change happening fast and coming at a furious pace is also disturbing.

Another troubling part is this sentence:

“Those with insight can already hear the sounds of the shattering and fall of the ideology and thoughts of the liberal democratic systems.”

The final phrase of the letter is also worth noting:

“Whether we like it or not, the world is gravitating towards faith in the Almighty and justice and the will of God will prevail over all things.”

So, he’s given us three statements:
The path toward Allah (Islam is irreversible)
Justice will be done
God’s intent will be done

Which begs the question of what is God’s will? Well, it’s pretty obvious from his other statements that Ahmadi-Najad believes God’s will is to wipe Israel off the map, stop the US, and make the world Islam.

The reason this whole letter bugs me is not the content, but the fact that it’s following a particularly portentous precedent. When Mohammed was fighting with Abu Sayiif (sp), he issued a letter like this and then made a peace through marriage, leading to cessation of hostilities. However, when Mohammed was fighting the pagan leaders of (I may be mistaken, but I think I’m right) Mecca, he issued a letter inviting them to give up their wicked ways and to join Islam and they refused.

They were massacred. Since then, many Islamic leaders have followed suite, giving a call to repentance and submission to Allah before launching their attacks.

Personally, I used to think that Ahmadi-Najad was a nut; a crazy raghead with delusions of grandeur and a willingness to plunge the world into darkness. Now, I think he’s much more dangerous. I think he’s as sober as a judge and as rational as rattlesnake. I think he’s careful and cautious and strategically minded. He doesn’t bluster like Sadaam; he’s the cool, collected voice of a professional killer who not only sincerely believes in what he does, but that he has a divine roll in God’s will.

Which brings me to my final question. Iran has been open, even boisterous, about its nuclear ambitions, while using the UN to keep the world at bay. It’s got a lot of the world in a tizzy, even Europe, despite the fact that Iran probably won’t have a nuclear capability until a few years from now.

But, as a military leader, Ahmadi-Najad knows the value of misdirection. What else has he got? Where are we not looking?

By his own words - “Changes happen fast and come at a furious pace.”

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Popularity

2006-05-12T08:51:00.000-06:00

People who say things like, "I didn't come here to be liked," usually went to the right place.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Hatred

2006-05-09T14:11:00.000-06:00

People who use race, ethnicity, gender, etc. as reasons to dislike thier fellow human beings are misguided. There are plenty of reasons to dislike someone on an individual basis if you simply look hard enough.

At Air America, the Hits Keep on Coming…

2006-04-27T11:24:00.000-06:00

Air America, the nations premier liberal talk radio network, has taken one to the gut. At its New York station, WLIB, which is its major center and revenue generator, ratings are down by about half. Yep, according to Arbitron, they went from a rating of 1.4 (that’s rating—not shares, which are very, very different) to 0.8. Randi Roads, the afternoon skank-on-the-air personality, had listeners fall from a sad 60k to a dismal 27k.

The station’s lease is good until August, and after that, it will take an intervention by Fate or George Soros to remain on the air.

As you would never guess, I place Air America on the same level as the thing I use to scrape dogshit off my shoes. I’m all for commentary from around the political spectrum, including the loonies—free speech is God-given and you can’t defeat arguments if you haven’t heard them—but Air America is a waste. The arguments are flawed at best, the hosts are adolescent, and the humor is bland and recycled. Every once in a while I try to stream Air America, but can only take a few minutes before I’m bored and can’t stop wondering how someone can sell this slop.

There’s probably a place for liberal talk radio (such as NPR, which I listen to often) but Air America isn’t it.

National Day of Silence Met With Relief

2006-04-27T10:01:00.000-06:00

Denver, Colo. – Homosexual rights advocacy groups held their tenth annual “Day of Silence” to protest unfair treatment of homosexuals. According to the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network (GLSEN), more than 500,000 students participated by remaining silent for some or part of the day.

Many students not participating in the event were also enthusiastic supporters. “I’m so glad those guys decided to shut up for a change,” said Chatfield High School student Mark Ritter. “They just go on and on about how gay they are and how everyone treats them like crap because they’re gay. If they’d just keep to themselves and not make a big deal out of it, nobody would care.”

Ritter’s friend, Angela Vasquez agreed. “A lot of them say they get picked on because they’re gay, but really the only one’s who get picked on a jerks. I know a kid who’s gay and she doesn’t rub anyone’s face in it and everybody likes her. I also know another kid who’s homosexual and always wears gay pride shirts and talks about how much ‘courage’ he has to be gay, but he’s a loser and always sits by himself. Even other gay kids beat him up.”

Many participating students said they felt their protest was appreciated. “I had several people come up to me and say how much they liked that fact that I didn’t say anything during class,” said Chatfield student Richard ‘Corky’ Barstow. “One guy even said he that I should keep it up all year long!”

Many school officials across the country endorsed “Day of Silence” and suggested that it be extended to an all-week or possibly a month-long event. Columbine High School Principal Andrea Yates promoted the idea among teachers and administration. “I wish it could be longer. For at least one day we don’t have to hear this rambling diatribe about how they want special rights and protection. You know, we had to cut out all extracurricular clubs last year because they sued the school district because they couldn’t have an organization to promote their sexual orientation. They’re high school kids and they want to promote sex? What a bunch of whiners.”

GLSEN activists were pleased with the reception the event had gathered and are considering a longer protest in 2007. GLSEN has also been encouraged to extend the trademark “Day of Silence” to environmental, racial, and other protests.

Chick Lit Catfight

2006-04-26T17:29:00.000-06:00

Among writers of young adult material, the hottest news is about plagiarism by one of the genre's rising stars. Kaavya Viswanathan, a teenager attending Harvard, wrote the chick lit book How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life and sold the book for $500,000 to Little, Brown. It was published last year, and the book did well enough that Viswanathan has a mutliple book deal and oodles of fawning reviewers and fans.

The problem is that there's quite a few parts of the book, including some of the plot, that bears an unmistakable resemblance to Megan McCafferty's 2001 ckik-lit book Sloppy Firsts, which Viswanathan not only admits to reading but reading a lot. Viswanathan says that she "internalized" McCafferty's writing and unconciously slung phrases and elements into her own book. She must have really liked Sloppy Firsts, because she did this between 40 and 45 times (depending on how loose you want to get). That's one for every eight pages (320 pages in hardback). I can understand a few phrases, but 40-45 is pretty egregious, even for Harvard.

Viswanathan's explanation is questionable at best, and McCafferty is probably going to sue, along with her publisher and everyone else that can stake a claim to this. How this will play out will be interesting because it has lots of money, lots of players with shadowy interests, and media coverage (at least among YA writers and publishers) to keep it going. You can hear the yowls and hisses all the way from New York.

Pike’s Peak Writer’s Conference, 2006

2006-04-24T16:46:00.000-06:00

This past weekend I had the privilege of spending three days with minds much brighter than my own. The Pike’s Peak Writer’s Conference (http://www.ppwc.net/) in Colorado Springs is rated as one of the top 10 writer’s conferences in the US. It was long, hard, work, but it was the best three days I’ve had in a while.

On Friday afternoon, my friend Colin and I drove down to Colorado Springs—a funky town composed of equal parts badly aging hippies, Air Force zoomies (the AF Academy is there), Colorado cowboy/rednecks, and illegal immigrants. Colin and I have known each other for nigh on thirteen years now, and he’s my boss and best friend (after the wife, on both counts), and he’s also a fellow aspiring writer. Colin had won first place in the Paul Gillette Writing Contest in the children’s category for his Revolutionary War novel Merely Players, but he was stressing over a potential job at Amazon.com he’d interviewed for. After some therapeutic cheeseburgers and conversation, he settled down.

We checked into the Wyndam hotel and unpacked in our room, and after the obligatory "Brokeback Mountain"/"Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" jokes (“Those aren’t pillows!”) we got to work.

The first session was a read & critique, and I read for Peter Joseph, an editor for St. Martin’s Press. I had brought an extra copy of my first chapter and was glad because he kept the copy. I don’t think that meant much, because he kept everyone’s copy, including the potentially mentally ill woman’s whose manuscript was barely comprehensible. He also tagged a couple of things that I need to fix on my YA novel (easy fixes, thank heavens).

The next session I attended was a self-promotion/marketing piece that was really good. I wish my marketing team had been there; those “professionals” could have learned a lot from this amateur.

Colin and I blew off the opening ceremonies, and instead went to Edelweiss, a German restaurant. It was damn fine food: veal, steak, and potatoes, all done perfectly. With the exception of occasionally plunging the world into a global conflict, the Germans have a lot going for them and remain among some of my favorite non-Americans.

That night, we visited a small party, schmoozed, and Colin and I practiced our pitches for the next day. I didn’t mind making only a brief appearance at the party. Frankly, I’m not a party kind of guy. Relaxing and carousing are skills, and not ones that I’ve developed. I’m much more comfortable in a work group than in a social group – damn my Puritan work ethic.

That night neither of us slept well. Colin’s on a medication that keeps him from sleeping easily and I needed some white noise to sleep. We wound up ordering some music off the TV in the room (The Return of the King soundtrack) to get to sleep. However, Colin was congested and the poor guy was sawing serious logs. I had to wake him to get him to roll over and stop snoring before I could finally get down.

We woke at a decent hour and got out the door without incident, although not without a healthy helping of donuts and Mt. Dew.

My first session was by an author I really like: Dan Simmons. He’s done horror, historical fiction, and just about every other genre, and done them well. He spoke on writing, researching, and selling historical fiction, although he spoke mostly on his experiences researching. It was all right, but not as technical as I was hoping for. Still, it was a fun session and he’s as good in person as he is on the page. I'm going to have to find his short story about Gettysburg.

While I was enjoying Simmon’s lecture, Colin was going through Hell. His pitch session was at 8:50 with Laura Rennert, an agent with the Andrea Brown Literary Agency. She’s recently closed a deal for a client for a cool half million bucks and is one of the few truly potent agents in the YA category. Colin pitched his award winner and a humorous football one that he’s been working on lately. He pitched the football story as “A Princess Diaries for boys” and she bit on it. He’ll be sending the first couple of chapters to her in a couple of weeks.

I blew off the next session because my turn in Hell was next. Colin told me of his experience and gave me some pointers (damn glad he did, too) and stayed with me until the cattle call came (he’s a good friend that way). Because this was my first pitch session ever, I didn’t expect much and that took some of the pressure off, but I was still nervous. Like Colin, I pitched to Rennert, and she was really nice. I babbled incoherently to start with, but once I got my log line down and got into the meat of my book, she was okay with it. She looked at the first page, but we ran out of time. However, she said she was interested and requested that I send it to her. Barely able to comprehend my good fortune, I left with her card. I think I said thanks, but I may have just drooled on myself.

Now for a personal roar —as my grandpa used to say, “If ya done it, it ain’t braggin’: At first, I thought Rennert was telling everyone to send in their stuff, but that is decidedly not the case. Apparently, only a third of the people pitching were offered to send material in, and she wasn’t an exception. What this means is that my work will be in the smaller slush pile that she looks at personally instead of the large slush pile slogged through by interns and jr. editors. It’s the first step in a long process, and at each point there is the potential for rejection, but hell, it’s a great first step.

Colin and I chatted and compared our experiences and I took a while to unwind. We made it to the next session, where we both took in a very good lecture by Ally Carter, an up-and-coming young woman writer who’s got a book out soon called I’d Tell You I Love You But Then I’d Have To Kill You. It’ll be a really good book (teen spy romance thriller) and it’s already optioned by Disney. She’s from Tulsa and I hope we can get her to come out for the SCBWI conference in the spring.

For lunch Colin and I found a nice little Mexican fast food joint. I wouldn’t mind going back.

Afterward, Colin and I hit the agent roundtable, which included Rennert (stalking being a good thing). It was informative and I got a better idea of what she’s looking for. Colin and I tried to get into Rennert’s next session on Key Elements of Successful Fiction, but the room was too full (it had filled up before the previous session had ended). Instead I went to a mediocre session of creating synopsis.

The final session for the day was by Wendy French, a chick-lit author who was more funny than informative, but it was all right. Chick-lit is hot right now, but humor is always something that sells.

Saturday night was the big banquet and we did a little socializing before it. I was still cursed with my native shyness/awkwardness, not to mention I was getting claustrophobic, and so the schmoozing was rough to get through. However, I did learn that of the five of us from our critique group, four had pitched and all had been successful. The one who hadn’t had stalked a couple of editors and agents and “elevator pitched” to them, also successfully. So, the math was decidedly on our side.

At the banquet, Colin sat at the winner’s table (along with Ceil, another person in our critique group who had taken second in the YA category) and I found a place at Ally Carter’s table. I sat between a charming—if slightly kooky—elderly lady and a very pleasant young woman, and I actually managed to chat comfortably with them. The young woman’s husband was a gunsmith and she was a champion quickdraw competitor, and so we chatted about the virtues of .45s and 9mm and other things that I never would have anticipated at a generally liberal-leaning gathering.

After the awards, of which I was very proud for my friends, Dan Simmons gave the keynote address. It was one of the best I’ve ever heard and I’d like to get it on DVD (it was recorded). Much of it was relating his early experiences, including nearly giving up writing until Harlan Ellison—one of the crankiest and skilled writers in existence—told him that he was a writer and he had a moral and spiritual obligation to write or he would be in danger of damning his eternal soul and having Ellison “rip his fucking nose off.”

Ellison told him that he hears the music. So does Colin. So do I. I guess I’d better get off my ass. Or at least protect my nose.

After the banquet, which ended at 11:00pm. We visited with some other writers and then called it a night.

Sunday was relaxed: we both slept in and attended only one session, another marketing piece, also very good, by agent Lilly Ghahremani. It was definitely worthwhile, and I learned a lot. Once again, I wish my marketing team had been there.

With that, the conference closed. We left and returned home tired but reinvigorated. I have much to do if I want to capitalize on my success and to ensure that it continues, but that is the subject of another post.

A Global Protection Racket

2006-04-18T09:37:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, a 21-year-old homicide bomber killed 9 people at a fast food restaurant in Tel Aviv. Islamic Jihad, one of dozens of Palestinian terrorist groups, claimed responsibility and have publicly stated that they have 70 more bombers wired and ready to go. The Israelis put the blame on Hamas, and rightly so. During the 2 years the Fatah party was in control of the Palestinian Authority, 9 homicide bomb attacks were successful in Israel. Less than a month into Hamas’ control of the government and the homicide bombings accelerate.

The Fatah’s agreement to accept Israel’s right to exist and to cooperate with Israeli security allowed a period of relative peace and economic growth for both Israel and, more importantly, for the Palestinians. Hamas’ unwillingness to abide by previous agreements and recognition of Israel has thrown a massive wrench into the works. Not only is there a tacit acceptance of attacks on Israel by Hamas, but cooperation between Palestinian and Israeli security has all but ceased. The once-promising economic situation is on hiatus.

But there is more going on that a simple return to the bad days of constant homicide bombings. This is about money, plain and simple.

The Palestinian Authority employs roughly one third of all working Palestinians. With Hamas at the helm and giving no sign that it will be civilized, the money from the US and Europe (which surprisingly has grown a backbone in this matter) that fueled the government is all but dried up. The government has already missed two weeks of payments and there’s no sign that the checks are coming soon. Yesterday, Palestinian police (read government-supported gang) blocked off a major road and seized a government building. They left peacefully, but you can bet there will be more soon.

Hamas has turned to its brother Muslim nations that provided so much moral support (but only 3% of the PA’s funding) but it has found that one of the seven pillars of Sharia, generosity, is little more than a termite-eaten 2x4 brace. Although Syria, Saudi Arabia, and Iran promised funding, nobody has given numbers. You can bet it will be a fraction of what was previously there and with some very nasty strings attached, such as launching homicide bombers at Israel. Also, Al Qaeda has been making itself known in PA-controlled areas.

Which brings us to a very interesting editorial in a state-controlled newspaper of Egypt. The editor, hand-picked by Egyptian President/Dictator Mubarak, makes a departure from the norm of condemning both Israel and Palestinians in the violence and this time sides with the terrorists (http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1143498872613&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FshowFull). The editorial states "It is not required of the Palestinian people that they clap Israel and its allies while they mobilize the whole world to besiege the heroic [Palestinian] people ... because they have chosen Hamas." This last reference is a less-than-subtle word directly from one of those solicited by Hamas for funding and it’s where the rubber hits the road—keep supporting Hamas (so we don’t have to) or we’ll back the terrorists and they’ll make a mess of things.

This is nothing more than protection racket on a global scale: Pay us or we’ll blow you up. There’s no good way out of this. Hamas and the terrorists are more than capable of making good on their threats, and may do so even if they get their funding. Re-funding Hamas simply justifies their threats and “feeds the crocodile” (to steal a phrase from Churchill). Either way, innocent people—Israelis and Palestinians—will die because of a fanatical ideology and greed.

Popular Infotainment

2006-04-12T13:16:00.000-06:00

Regarding Katie Couric’s move to the CBS Evening News to do “serious news”: Being a “serious journalist” at CBS is like being a park ranger at a petting zoo.

Vive la France! Trepas de job!

2006-04-10T09:37:00.000-06:00

A brain-damaged chimp living in a cave on Mars could have predicted what has happened; French President Chirac gave in to the mobs and eliminated the new labor law that may have actually improved the economy. In the process, he cut his protégé, flaming-gay-haired Villipin, off at the knees.

Aside from reinforcing the notion that surrendering is the French national pastime, this virtually ensures that the French economy will continue to be run by forces bent on self-eradication, the death of the EU constitution, and the demise of Villipin’s run at the French presidency. As he is the fucker that orchestrated the UN backstabbing of the US on many occasions, I won’t shed a tear for him. The earlier he’s back at his chateau writing more shitty poetry about Sharks and Seagulls (his poetic metaphor for the US and France, respectively—It's actually apt: one has survived for millions of years and the other eats garbage and shits on things) the better off we’ll all be.

It is interesting to note that the French unions were making this their big week to push their protests because next week’s Easter vacation would have seriously depleted their numbers in the streets. Maybe if Chirac had held out for a week, the protesters would have become too lazy to demonstrate, and he could have chalked up the first French victory in a very long time.

Two Countries, Two Protests, Only One With A Future

2006-03-31T13:48:00.000-07:00

The French nation is preoccupied with a new law that strays from the cradle-to-grave social security net that is strangling its economy and making it the slack-jawed loser of Western Europe, which itself is no prize pig. In short, the new law frees employers from the odious restrictions on firing employees so long as they are under the age of 26.

The theory, which is universally accepted even by those who oppose the law, is that employers will be less reluctant to hire young people if they know they can shitcan them if they turn out to be…well, French. The debate is not whether this will work, but whether it will provide incentives for employers to shitcan people before they turn 26 and then hire a newer, younger employee. Those who approve of the law—predominantly employers, conservatives, and other people who live in reality—point out that it would be stupid to waste all the training that has to occur just to keep an easily fireable employee around. Those who oppose the law—predominantly professional radicals, unemployed students, and other leeches on society— worry that it’s the slippery slope leading to “Anglo Super Capitalism” and an American-style work ethic.

Meanwhile, in this country, masses of people turn out to protest against a bill that would potentially limit illegal immigration into the United States, primarily by Hispanics, but also by anyone else who isn’t supposed to be here. Those who favor the bill point to the masses of undocumented workers eating into the infrastructure and causing all kinds of holy hell with law enforcement, etc. Those against the bill point to the masses of undocumented workers who do lots of work and keep the economy going, usually without causing too much trouble. Both sides of the bill want to allow people to work legally, it’s just a matter of defining who’s legal.

And therein lies the difference between the two. No matter your opinion on French labor laws and American immigration policy, it boils down to working. The French are rioting to prevent enactment of a law that would by all accounts lead to increased employment. Americans (and some Mexicans, etc., no doubt) are protesting (peacefully, I might add) to prevent enactment of a law that would by all accounts lead to increased unemployment. In short, the French protest increased work opportunities, the Americans (and Mexicans, etc.) protest decreased work opportunities.

Personally, I’m not sure where I stand on immigration policy. On the one hand, I’m the grandson of an immigrant who came to this country with the clothes on his back and a work ethic and went from eating pig slop (literally) to the American Dream. On the other hand, I’m a law-and-order kind of guy that doesn’t like it when people break the law, even for the best of reasons and with the best of outcomes (and these are not the best of outcomes). Got some more thinking to do, I suppose.

However, one area that I’m decided on is the fact that I’d much rather a glut of people coming to my nation to work than a glut of people already in my nation who didn’t want to work.

I guess that it’s just too bad that France isn’t easily accessed by Mexicans. Wouldn’t that solve all our problems?

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: American Crime

2006-03-31T13:47:00.000-07:00

Americans aren’t more violent that other people. We’re just better shots.

More Ragging on the French

2006-03-20T10:14:00.000-07:00

The recent unrest in France is beginning to get more play on the various media. However, few have gotten into the meat of why the unrest is occurring at all.

The problems have begun because Chirac attempted to do to his own country what he did to the United States in the UN in the run-up to the Iraq war: He forced a bill of job and social security reforms through the French legislative body without debate, using a little-known parliamentary tactic. The bill in question would allow anyone under the age of 26 to be fired without reason; currently, it’s very difficult to fire anyone once they are employed, resulting in bloated company rosters during economic challenges and companies only hire if they absolutely have to. This results in high unemployment, particularly among younger people and minorities. France has a national unemployment rate of 10%, but it’s around 25% for people in their 20s and around 50% for minorities.

How does that impact the French economy? Not good—according to 2003 figures, per-capita GDP in France is $29,225. If France were a state in the USA, it would be ranked FIFTH POOREST, beating only Alabama, Arizona, New Mexico, Oklahoma, and Mississippi.

This translates into a decided lack of political and cultural clout. The new French official all-news channel with have only 3 hours broadcast in French, with the remaining 21 hours broadcasting in English. Why? Because, to get someone to watch it who will pay for it, it has to be in English.

Prophecies of the Simpsons and France

2006-03-17T10:29:00.000-07:00

The Simpsons have, over the course of their sixteen years on the air, made predictions about the future that have come true in ways that I could never have predicted. The most recent example comes from the “Mr. Plow” episode. In it, Homer imagines himself coming to the rescue of the first President Bush, by plowing through a crowd of hippies and ingrates. I clearly remember a sign held by an unwashed heathen that read “PAY ME NOT TO WORK.”

This has come true, but not in America. In France, where Gallic sensitivities against work and military victories are well known, young people are rioting because the government is making efforts to make jobs available.

http://today.reuters.co.uk/news/newsArticle.aspx?type=worldNews&storyID=2006-03-17T161006Z_01_L17342207_RTRUKOC_0_UK-FRANCE.xml

And here is a wonderful quote found by a blogger on the Weekly Standard:

Maud Pottier, 17, a student at Jules Verne High School in Sartrouville, north of Paris, who was wrapped in layers of scarves as protection against the chilly, gray day [said]: "You'll get a job knowing that you've got to do every single thing they ask you to do because otherwise you may get sacked. I'd rather spend more time looking for a job and get a real one."

And these are the people the left want America to follow and to use as a role model?

On the Power and Pleasure of Cursing

2006-03-16T14:20:00.001-07:00

I once heard someone say that those who curse are demonstrating an inability to articulate in a higher manner. I say that anyone who believes this has simply not heard cursing done correctly.

I curse a lot. I curse like a French longshoreman with hangnails. I curse in a variety of languages, and enjoy finding new and unusual words. To others I probably curse too much, but to my own way of thinking, I curse too little.

My cursing is a family inheritance—one of my ancestors was a muleskinner and cowboy turned preacher known as “the Swearing Disciple” (a quote: "I may not walk the straight and the narrow, but I sure in hell try to cross it as often as I can!"). It’s as much an element of who I am as any other part of my inheritance. Although it’s definitely a learned behavior, I feel that it’s almost a part of my DNA.

Swearing is also essential to proper speech. I believe words should be correct, but not complicated, and curse words are an essential element of language. The English language, more so than any other, allows for variations and shading of meaning that allow us to weave a vibrant tapestry of communication, but to remove a thread of such strength as curse words leaves not just an absence, but an actual hole that cannot be filled in any other way.

Of course, cursing, like any kind of power, has to be handled carefully. There are times and places where such things are not only improper, but downright silly. It’s infantile to use swearing to impress, and it usually sounds juvenile when done poorly or without practice. It is also not to be used too often; like a symphony that always plays loud, curse words lose their power when they lack a background against which they stand out. Also, time and place are essential; just as I wouldn’t wear a Speedo to work or church, I avoid cursing there to avoid offending the sensibilities of others.

But other times and places where it is appropriate, I curse as I feel the need and don’t when I don’t.

Like right now.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Vices

2006-03-16T14:20:00.000-07:00

Be very cautious of someone who does not have at least one vice.

Real life Simpsons intro

2006-03-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

Someone went to an amazing amount of trouble to get a real-life Simpsons into. You can even see Homer's buttcrack on the way into the house.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=49IDp76kjPw&search=real%20life%20simpsons

On the Virtues of Teaching

2006-03-03T14:17:00.000-07:00

I am the black sheep of my family. Not only is there a 9-year difference between my next oldest sibling and myself, but I am something far worse: a white-collar worker. Nearly all of my family’s professions fall neatly into one of three categories: teachers, medical, or military. I like to say that, “We Hydes either teach ya, heal ya, or kill ya.”

Coming from such a background, I’ve had more than a little insight into the life of a modern-day teacher. I’ve seen my sisters toil over lesson plans long into the night and give up some of the finer things so they could continue to afford to practice what amounts for them as a calling. I’ve had friends tilt at the windmills of school administration and district management and come away the worse for wear. And, I’ve seen the all of their love and devotion they have for their students and seen that love returned many times and in many forms.

It's a noble profession.

And so, when examples of bad teachers (notably few, but they exist) come to light, I find them particularly reprehensible. There is a controversy now in my own backyard revolving one teacher who failed his profession and his students by allowing his personal agenda to become his text.

The teacher, Jay Bennesh, a geography teacher Overland High School in Aurora, Colorado, (the other side of Denver from me, but close enough to call it my backyard) would often spend much of his allotted time speaking his left-wing opinion and calling it fact. His caustic rants against the various “sins” of America and the Bush administration were not instructional, but indoctrinal in nature. He had been disciplined more than once before for stepping over the line of teaching and into preaching. Yet, he continued.

One student, Sean Allen, who has described himself as a “comedian” and a political “independent” complained to his father about the constant tirades, but his father thought he was exaggerating. Then, Allen got an Ipod for keeping notes in all of his classes and her recorded one of Bennesh’s off-the-wall indoctrination tirades the day after the and let his father hear it.

Allen’s father spoke to the high school principal, but got nowhere. So, he contacted local conservative radio talk-show host Mike Rosen (http://www.850koa.com/main.html) who spent several weeks investigating and then broadcast the tirade, setting off a media conflict. You can listen to the tirade here (http://2005.koaradio.com/pages/shows_rosen.html). (I’d actually recommend wading through the entire 20 min. recording-the kid makes a pretty good attempt to damage Bennesh’s arguments, for a sophomore.)

The divisions brought about by this are interesting – the leftwingers are rabid in his defense, but they continually ignore Bennesh’s unprofessionalism. That, not his views, is the real problem.

Bennish is probably a good teacher – he’s certainly passionate enough – but he lacks the necessary character. Namely, he cannot discern the difference between opinion and fact and the difference between having dialogue and being an ideologue.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Making the World a Better Place

2006-02-27T15:19:00.000-07:00

If you want to make the world a better place, focus on doing the right thing. You’ll accomplish your goal and have the pleasure of knowing that you’re damn near unique.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Gaining Weight

2006-02-27T15:18:00.000-07:00

When you’ve got a good tool, build a shed over it.

A Religious War?

2006-02-14T09:57:00.000-07:00

The recent rioting and destruction fomented by Islamic extremists in Islamic nations against the West, in the guise of protests of depictions of the prophet Mohammed in a series of political cartoons, has all the overtones of a religious war. Small-time religious leaders use pretexts to whip up the crowd to pursue a greater and more political agenda. Of all wars, religious wars are the nastiest and most likely to result in atrocities against civilians and the degeneration of society. The world has been blessedly free of large-scale religious conflicts for a long time (there’s more than a little wiggle room in that statement, I know) and it would be worth keeping it that way. However, the old proverb that it takes two to tango is simply not true; if one party wants to engage in war, the other party has no choice but to defend themselves.

But, what would a religious war between Islam and the West look like? Here’s an unpleasant vision:

On February 14, a Muslim attempted to assassinate a Christian leader on the street, but succeeded only in wounding him and infuriating the Christian party. Then in the early hours of the morning of February 15, several dozen other Christian leaders were murdered at the Hotel Beruit, where they were staying, in a series of coordinated assassinations that could only have been planned at the highest level. That was the signal for a widespread massacre. Beginning on February 15, and lasting to February 17, there was a wave of popular killings of Christians by the mobs in Beruit, as if spontaneous.

"To be a Christian," wrote the historian, Abrahimin, "was to be an infadel." Hence, according to Mézeray, when on the following morning the houses of all Christians and Jews and even their suspected sympathizers were pillaged and blood flowed in streams, it was an outpouring of popular envy and resentment, mixed with religious zeal. As the massacres spread to the countryside, they were carried out by the peasantry against Christians and Jews who were perceived by them to be anti-Muslim and enemies of Islam.

From February to May, similar seemingly spontaneous massacres of Christians and Jews took place in other cities, such as Damascus, Mosel, Cairo, Tehran, and Jakarta. Again, carried out by the populace, not regimens of the political establishment. Estimates of the number of those murdered range as high as 100,000. A Christians source gives a figure of 70,000. Other sources estimate 30,000 or fewer. Al-Jazeera reckoned the number to be "perhaps 2,000" as he surmised the lasting impact of the massacres thus: "...for a time [the massacres] thoroughly cowed anti-Islamic extremist leaders. The fury of the populace had a lasting effect which could never be undone." The number of victims in the provinces is unknown, with figures varying between 2,000 and 100,000.

Contemporary accounts report bodies in the rivers for months afterwards, so that no one would eat fish. The Iranian president's reaction was jubilant: all the bells of Tehran pealed for a public day of thanksgiving, the guns of the Cairo sounded a joyous salute, a special commemorative medal was struck to honour the occasion, and Imam Khomeni commissioned a poem extravagantly praising the killings. The Muslim view was that the Christain and Jewish heretics got what they deserved.

Secular countries and moderate Muslims were horrified at the bloody barbarity.

Now, to really give you the chills, you should know that this has already happened. I took a commentary on the St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre (Catholics vs. Protestants) from Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Bartholomew's_Day_Massacre) and simply changed the names and the places.

Do I think a religious war or a “clash of civilizations” is in the offing?

The best answer I can give is a maybe.

Broke Studio Mountain, Pt 2

2006-02-07T16:52:00.000-07:00

Brokeback Mountain has now made in excess of $60 million. Glowing reviews, Golden Globe awards, and Oscar nominations have helped this movie take in more than 15 times its production cost.

The media push behind this movie is tremendous. In addition to the traditional marketing of the film, which barely mentions its homosexual story (by the television ads one could confuse it with an IMAX film about the Rocky Mountains), the movie is assisted by willing accomplices in the media, who have pushed this as a “modern romance.” For all the effort going into this, one would think that Americans are lining up around the block to see Ang Lee’s masterpiece.

Not so. Let’s examine the “modern romance’s” success in a wider scope.

It’s made almost as much as March of the Penguins, a documentary that has almost zero advertising beyond word-of-mouth marketing.
It’s made about 18% of the revenue of Finding Nemo.
It’s made about 21% of the revenue of The Chronicle’s of Narnia.
It’s made about 20% the revenue of the Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, and about 5% of the revenue from all three movies in the series.

Based on a short story by Anne Prouxl (who leans so far to the left she bangs her head on doorways), Brokeback Mountain shows that gay men can be macho and that people who oppose gay marriage are worse than Hitler, Genghis Khan, and global warming put together. Because it’s a well-crafted movie, it provides great ammunition for homosexuals to state that anyone who doesn’t want to see this movie for any reason is a bigot.

I guess that I’m a bigot because there’s no way in hell I’ll ever see this homosexual propaganda piece.

I would like to point out that other well-crafted movies that bigots like me also refuse to see include:
Triumph of the Will, the stirring story of the 1933 Nazi Nueremburg rallies
Olympia, the visual record of the 1936 Olympics in Berlin and the triumph of the Aryan supermen
I could go on, but I think you get the point…

Not All Crazy

2006-02-07T13:06:00.000-07:00

While I tend to have a dim view of the Middle East, Islamofascists, and the general state of modern Islam, I also recognize that Islam is a meta-religion, not a specific denomination and has some variety within it. More importantly, not all endorse an ignorant and violent subversion of Islam practiced in the more backwards parts of the word.

The Colorado Muslim Society is a US-based society of Muslims that run a mosque near Denver. They have denounced the 9/11 attacks and terrorism in general and recently spoke out regarding the publication of the Mohammed cartoons. The comments are well spoken and deserve respect.

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/local/article/0,1299,DRMN_15_4446613,00.html

The EU Caves (Shocking)

2006-02-07T10:37:00.000-07:00

I pulled this from the EU’s official site.

President Borrell on the events following the publication of cartoons

Following the events surrounding the publication of a series of cartoons and the attacks on several European embassies in some Muslim countries, Josep Borrell, President of the European Parliament and of Euro-Mediterranean Parliamentary Assembly (EMPA), made the following statement:

”The European Union upholds the values on which it was founded. Freedom of expression is one of those values, but this must be within the boundaries of respect for the religious beliefs and cultural sensitivities of others.

”Freedom of expression must avoid any insult, especially by those who are specifically responsible for upholding its values. I understand that, for many Muslims, the cartoons that have been published are an insult to their beliefs.”

It’s not just the President of the EU Parliament. The EU’s justice minister (an Italian, I believe) also mentioned the fracas, stating the need for increased media controls.

So, the socialist Spaniard who is head of the EU believes that freedom of expression no longer allows you to say anything that may bother someone else; in other words, the EU believes that the lowest common denominator defines your freedoms, not you.

Freedom of speech? Not if you’re going to say anything that might piss off the most easily offended people in the world.

Freedom of religion? Hell no, because something you believe may make the crazies think you’re not one of them.

Freedom of anything else? No, because some loonies in a far away land may go bonkers and start burning flags and making atomic weapons.

Personally, I find that very offensive.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Making a Difference

2006-02-06T13:11:00.000-07:00

"One person can make a difference, but they probably shouldn't."

Marge Simpson

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Zealots

2006-02-06T12:18:00.000-07:00

Nothing is more dangerous than a zealot, unless it's a zealot with a machine gun.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand “Death to France”s

2006-02-02T13:24:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, several European newspapers ran caricatures of Mohammed, in solidarity with a Danish newspaper that did the same thing and had received threats because of it. The reaction has been swift and severe. Various Islamic nations have demanded apologies, and the more radical elements of Islam, such as the newly elected Fatah, have had armed men invade various offices. No one has been killed, yet, but the newspapers are pulling reporters out of the area and it’s generally bad situation.

The newspapers should not have published the pictures. Images are generally forbidden in Islam and Mohammed is understandably considered sacred to Muslims. To publish the images is unnecessarily insulting to Muslims and simply rude. Reverence for other people’s beliefs is a common courtesy, and while I am not Muslim (and I think modern Islam has a helluva lot of reforming to do), the publication was in poor taste and disrespectful.

That being said, the Muslim reaction is backwards and decidedly over the top. If Muslim nations are to enter the 21st century and survive, this kind of whacked out behavior is going to have to end.

Finally, those Europeans who look down on America and point to Muslim outrage as a sign of our failure are suddenly forced to look at themselves. They must come fact-to-face with the fact that their Chamberlain-type diplomacy and undermining of America has made them far less secure than they believed themselves to be.

Chocolate and Memories

2006-02-01T17:00:00.000-07:00

A friend’s wife had a birthday recently. For Christmas she had received one of those small, melted chocolate fountains and she really wanted to try it out. We shelled out for Thai food for dinner and they brought the fountain and the chocolate.

An auger in the middle pumped the chocolate from the basin to the top of the fountain, where it was to flow like luscious magma from a sweet volcano. At least that was the plan.

When we assembled it, the instructions weren’t too clear and my friend’s wife didn’t put the tube around the auger securely in the basin. As a result, the tube—and the receptacle at the top of the fountain—began to spin along with the auger at about 600 rpm.

When the liquid chocolate welled up the tube from the basin and hit the spinning receptacle, we were treated to a wonderful demonstration of physics. More than a dozen thin, warm, liquid chocolate ribbons whipped through the air. Lacy streams coated me, my wife, my daughter, my friend’s wife, our glasses, the table, the walls, the bonsai tree, the carpet, and everything else in our living room/dining room within ten feet of the fountain. We were laughing so hard, and my glasses were too coated in chocolate, to effectively reach the off button until several seconds passed. When it was over, we all laughed so hard tears came to our eyes.

We spent a good half hour cleaning the place, and I still find hardened chocolate ribbons every now and then, but it was a memory I’ll keep for the rest of my life. My only regret is that I didn’t catch it on film.

25 to 72

2006-01-31T09:00:00.000-07:00

I’m often amazed at the clarity mathematics can bring. President Truman said, “There are lies, damn lies, and statistics,” but I think math usually makes things much more obvious.

Take, for example, the attempt to filibuster the Alito nomination. The attempt gathered 25 votes, which is a pretty paltry sum for a filibuster attempt, by any reckoning. Most attempted filibusters that fail, do so by a margin of just a few. This is mostly because the attempt a filibuster and to fail is somewhat humiliating and few will risk their prestige on something not guaranteed to bring a political return.

In this case, however, those who went forward with the attempt were currying favor with the loony-left wing of the country. I hope the 25 are pleased with the purchase they have made with their political capital, but I believe the cost will be much greater than they realize.

By making this action, the 25 have delineated themselves as people who put politics over principle. They show that they represent not constitution nor even America, but the minority of fifth-column liberals who weaken the nation and its people.

I'm also amazed that some of the people voted the way they did even after saying the filibuster was a bad idea- specifically Reid and Obama; both of which said the Democrats relied on filibusters too much and it was bad for the country.

Bayh (D-IN)
Biden (D-DE)
Boxer (D-CA)
Clinton (D-NY)
Dayton (D-MN)
Dodd (D-CT)
Durbin (D-IL)
Feingold (D-WI)
Feinstein (D-CA)
Jeffords (I-VT)
Kennedy (D-MA)
Kerry (D-MA)
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Leahy (D-VT)
Levin (D-MI)
Menendez (D-NJ)
Mikulski (D-MD)
Murray (D-WA)
Obama (D-IL)
Reed (D-RI)
Reid (D-NV)
Sarbanes (D-MD)
Schumer (D-NY)
Stabenow (D-MI)
Wyden (D-OR)

Tagged: 4 Things

2006-01-30T11:32:00.000-07:00

I was tagged recently by Ed, so here goes...

4 Jobs I’ve Had In My Life:

Technical editor
Managing editor
Medical transcription manager
BBQ/grill chef

4 Movies I Could Watch Over and Over:

The Lord of the Rings (the whole trilogy)
The Changeling
Hellboy
March of the Penguins (I just love the little monochromatic critters)

4 TV Shows I Love (d) To Watch:
Battlestar Galactica (the new series on SciFi, not the velour-infested 70s version)
The Simpsons
The X-Files (except the last season)
Just about anything on the Discovery Channel

4 Places I’ve Lived:
Logan, UT
Lowell, MA (If Lovecraft’s Arkham is real, it’s this place; the streets are evil and alive)
Peterboro, NH (Live Free or Die is the state motto and many residents do both)
Lakewood, CO (a misleading name as there are no woods and damn few lakes)

4 Places I’ve Been On Vacation To:
Anaheim, CA (as a child and on my honeymoon)
Lahaina, Maui, HI (as a child and on my honeymoon)
Orlando, FL (marched in the Orange Bowl parade and froze my ass off)
Seattle, WA (nice, but too wet, cloudy, and liberal; all of which cause problems)

4 Places I Would Rather Be In:
The Smithsonian, Washington, DC
Detroit, watching the Broncos play the Seahawks in Super Bowl XL. Dammit.
A Dave & Busters Mechwarrior battlepod
My office, writing

4 Of My Favorite Foods:
Thai/Cambodian
Chinese
Mexican
BBQ

4 Websites I Visit Daily:
www.12tomidnight.com
www.weeklystandard.com
www.foxnews.com (I listen to NPR on the drive to work and fact check on Fox)
http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/dorktower/archive.asp?nextform=viewcomic&id=1085 (for Dork Tower)

Hitler Was Elected

2006-01-27T12:27:00.000-07:00

Hitler was elected.

That one fact should stand out when we consider democracy in the Middle East. That doesn’t mean that democracy is bad, or that it’s incompatible with Islam, or that democracy will lead to a wholesale conflict in the Middle East. If anything, it’s quite the opposite. Democracy and economic development, when placed hand-in-hand, are the most civilizing influence a culture can experience. This has been demonstrated time and again throughout history.

However, democracy, by its nature, generally reflects the will of the people, and if the people are unwise or belligerent, then so is the democracy.

Consider the case of Iran; although it is hardly an open society, its civil leaders are elected (albeit from a limited pool of candidates selected by the theocratic leadership, which holds most of the power). Although there is, no doubt, a large segment of the population that isn’t too fond of the mullahs and the strict Islamic rule they impose, there were more than enough to elect the current president, Mahmou Ahmadinejad. The fact that Ahmadinejad is an anti-West, anti-Jew, anti-civilization lunatic bent on propelling his people toward a showdown powers more than capable of annihilating them, can therefore be considered a reflection of the attitude of the general Iranian public.

Another case of this is the recent election of Hamas to power in the Palestinian Authority (PA).
Hamas is rightly defined as a terrorist organization. Hamas also funds hospitals, schools, and various other humanitarian facilities that the PA was too weak and corrupt to accomplish, but these are truly sideshows to the main event—the destruction of Israel and the death of all Jews. In an unpleasant demonstration that democracy works, the Palestinian people have given power to Hamas over the Fatah party (who also had a terrorist bent, but at least they were practical). From this action, one can correctly assume that the Palestinian people have embraced the philosophy of Hamas and will support Hamas when it attempts to implement that philosophy—the destruction of Israel and the deaths of all Jews.

So, what is going to happen? I’ve dusted off my crystal ball and I’m willing to make a few predictions.

Israel has already said it won’t deal with Hamas, and so a political standoff is already under way. The recent removal of Jews from Israeli-occupied land will cease. The strength of the borders will be increased on both sides, leading to occasional exchanges of gunfire. In some cases, the borders will be closed, leading to economic difficulty in Israel and extreme economic difficulty in PA-controlled areas.

Hamas will use its power to attempt to rebuild the Palestinian military (but keep its cadre of terrorists separate as a militia) while simultaneously attempting to drive a wedge between the US and Europe regarding Israel. The PA will establish government-sponsored terrorist training camps and bomb making facilities, and the Israelis will do their best to wipe them out, probably with aircraft. This will prompt protest by the PA, most Arab nations, and the United Nations, but with little real effect.

The Hamas/PA-sponsored terrorists will initiate a new wave of suicide bombing against Israel (starting mid-to-late 2006 but really getting going in 2007), but also use military assets. Israel will retaliate, but it will be tit-for-tat as each side lines up allies. Hard-line Israeli politicians will win more elections, promising a military solution (likely 2007).

If Hamas pushes the envelope as far as they can (and “restraint” isn’t exactly a word in their dictionary), a large-scale military conflict between the PA and Israel will develop. The PA doesn’t have near the resources necessary to fight a concerted Israeli action, and it’s unlikely that PA-allied nations will do more than offer cash, moral support, and a few token advisors and weapons. Israel will crush the PA and occupy PA territory and the Palestinians will be back to throwing rocks at Israeli tanks.

Is this the will of the people? Maybe it is. It’s hard to comprehend, but sometimes people embrace that which will destroy them. It happened in Germany in 1933.

Sound and Fury Signifying Nothing

2006-01-24T13:14:00.000-07:00

The Alito confirmation hearings are over and there were few surprises, other than how low the Democrats had to stoop to get anything to oppose the nomination. The vote was party line, which wasn’t a surprise, but it is surprising that the week following Alito’s testimony yielded so little in the way of media coverage, and I believe that’s pretty telling.

In other confirmation hearings, the testimony of others after the nominee’s is where the fireworks have been. The most obvious example is the Thomas hearings, where Anita Hill charged him with repeated sexual harassment (repeated because she kept hanging around). In both Alito’s and Robert’s nominations, these times have been quite quiet by comparison. This is due in part to excellent choices by the current administration in selecting people for nomination who have admirable character and intellectual prowess. I believe it is also due to the fact that many in the media recognize that the nominees’ views are not controversial and in fact are supported by a majority of the viewing (and advertisement watching) public.

If Alito was truly as far to the right of the general public as Sens. Kennedy, Gephart, etc. would have us believe, the second phase of the hearings would have engendered much greater media attention. The usual cast of characters sermonized about how Alito (or anyone nominated by Bush) was going to use the Constitution for toilet paper and we’d all be living in a Gestopo-run concentration camp country mere seconds after he took the oath, but their representation in the media was token at best. Those who make a living from knowing what people watch realized that these were fruitcakes that would be intensely followed only in a few communes in California and, to a lesser extent, insomniacs who don’t respond to strong drugs other than C-SPAN.

The truth of the matter is that Alito is conservative, but so are the majority of Americans, and they are, in general, more conservative now than in the past. Alito may have been very conservative in the past when he was creating the record that has now been inspected, but his past reflects who we are today. It also reflects that those who were elected as liberals in the past are that much further out of step with the majority, and that much closer to losing their grip on power. I think that is the real reason Sens. Kennedy, Gephart, etc., were so angry.

Dark Pearls of Wisdom: What Makes a Great RPG Adventure

2006-01-22T20:37:00.000-07:00

Good adventures let players define their character's actions. Great adventures let players define their character's morality.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: The Three Ages of Gamers

2006-01-22T20:36:00.000-07:00

When I was twelve, I wanted to game.
When I was fifteen, I wanted to get laid.
When I twenty-eight, I wanted to game.

Patience on Display

2006-01-10T16:18:00.000-07:00

I’ve been watching a bit of the Alito hearings and I am impressed with Alito. I’m not impressed with his presentation, which isn’t spectacular, or his intellect, which isn’t so obvious as Robert’s. No, I’m impressed with his patience.

Each senator has time to interrogate him, but most do little more that blather on with prepared statements and offer either accolades or condemnations. Alito politely answers their questions and offers a picturesque image of reasonableness. But in his eye, you can see he’s tolerating this affair, but certainly not enjoying it.

This reminds me of Fed Reserve Chairman Allen Greenspan doing his bi-annual presentation to Congress and the Senate. Greenspan would start with a clearly written and well thought out description of the economy over previous six months and then address issues that had arisen or deserved mention. Then, he’d sit there as the senators and congressmen jockeyed to get him to say something, anything, they could use in a sound bite against each other. Throughout it all, Greenspan would sit Sphinx-like in his chair, humoring the men and woman the same way a grandfather humors bickering grandchildren.

Regardless of whether you liked Greenspan and his policies, you had to admit, he was a class act.
Alito doesn’t have Greenspan’s knack for looking like he’s above the fray, but there is no doubt that both men’s intellectual capacities far outstrip that of their interrogators.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Justice

2006-01-10T14:07:00.000-07:00

You don’t get justice in this life. True justice requires both omniscience and omnipotence, which God alone possesses. In this life you get the law. It is imperfect, fallible, and must be constantly monitored and grown, like God’s children.

Selective Hearings

2006-01-10T14:06:00.000-07:00

I pulled this tidbit from Brit Hume’s Grapevine on Foxnews.com:

In Monday's hearings, Massachusetts Democrat Ted Kennedy expressed concern over an "academic study," which he said showed that Supreme Court Nominee Samuel Alito ruled against individual rights in 84 percent of his dissents — arguing that "average Americans have had a hard time getting a fair shake" in Alito's courtroom.

National Review reports, however, that Kennedy himself commissioned the study by liberal University of Chicago law professor Cass Sunstein. What Kennedy did not mention is that in addition to his statistical conclusions, Professor Sunstein also found that "Judge Alito's opinions are carefully reasoned, well-done, attentive to law, lawyerly, and unfailingly respectful to his colleagues," adding, "the law, fairly interpreted, could well be taken to support" Alito's view.

This information demonstrates just how low the Democrats must stoop to sabotage Alito’s confirmation, and how poorly they will do. Were it not for the fact that few, if any, of the large media outlets, will make this known, it would be laughable.

Personally, I don’t much care for the portly Democratic Senator from Massachusetts. Where others of his family have stood for something (not that I always agreed with them), he’s just a bumbling fool fit for little but contempt. Having lived in the state for nearly two years during the post-Dukakis era, I can soundly attest to how screwed up it is and can only say that he and the state deserve each other. The fact that Republican Mitt Romney was elected governor boggles my mind and is a testament to Romney’s qualities rather than the qualities of those who elected him.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Opposition

2006-01-05T16:11:00.000-07:00

Quote from a forgotten source

"Some days I feel like I'm trying to stop and outbreak and everyone else is driving infected monkeys to the airport!"

Words to the Innocent Dead

2006-01-03T16:19:00.000-07:00

A person shouldn’t flinch from his own reflection. Not everything that I espouse is pleasant. A lot is decidedly of the “life is short, brutal, and nasty” category. My comments, by their nature, must be seen in the harsh light of reality. It would be intellectually lazy to ignore the possibility of flaws presented by those opposed to my philosophies. Modern conservatism, which I proudly embrace, has become the dominant philosophy of recent times because its practitioners were forced to develop razor-sharp wit and superior argumentative skills in the face of near-overwhelming liberal blather. The approval of the voting public given to conservative politicians was earned by presenting better and clearer thinking than those who offered lesser alternatives.

And so, I considered something that I read in an op-ed piece written by a liberal who tried to use emotion rather than reason (a favored tactic) to win her argument. Her thesis against the Iraq War, and the War on Terrorism as a whole, could be summed up in the question of what can a supporter of the war say to the thousands of dead Iraqi civilians. This, of course, conjures up an emotionally charged image of people unjustly killed in the war, as there always is, and implies that there is nothing that could be said to justify it.

I knew she was wrong, but to put it into words is difficult. I realized that I was ignoring the true dimension of her argument: that any death as a result of any conflict is wrong. This is what was wrong. The words spoken to the innocent dead of the Iraq conflict are just as applicable to the citizens of Kabul, Dresden, or Tokyo.

To the Innocent Dead
I’m sorry you suffered and died. As a noncombatant, you were not targeted directly by those fighting and should have, except for Fate or the Hand of God or however you wish to view it, escaped. But you did not. You were truly in the wrong place at the wrong time.

You were in a place that was governed by evil men who had wickedness in their hearts and blood on their hands. Whether you helped them or not, whether you believed in them or not, or even if you benefited from them or suffered at their hands, the soil you stood on was dangerous ground because your governors chose to bring death and tyranny to those around them. They chose oppression over freedom, cruelty over charity, and death over life and they chose to export this evil and force it on their fellow human beings. Unobstructed, a dark age of ignorance, want, and violence would have followed.

This could not be allowed. Those who choose freedom, charity, and life cannot stand idle while darkness descends on the world. We have an obligation to all people, including you, to prevent it.

Of course, evil never ceases of its own volition, and so it must be combated. In that fight, your life was taken.

But the lives that follow yours will have opportunity, self-determination, and a chance to grow in tandem with the best that humanity has to offer. This may be cold comfort in the grave, but to those of us who remain yet alive, including your loved ones and descendants, it is worth it.

Playing to Win

2005-12-30T10:16:00.000-07:00

The Washington Post recently reported on the activities of the CIA in the War on Terror (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10644533/). It reported that on Sept. 11, 2001, the CIA had an anemic ability to confront the enemies of our nation who brought murder to our shores. Now, the report says, that has changed.

The report, which takes a generally dim view of the covert work of the CIA (see the last paragraph), lays all this on the hands of President George W. Bush. The organization and operations have been conducted with the enthusiastic backing and support of the President, who has taken a no-holds-barred approach to the War on Terror. Those who would be stumbling blocks to this approach – certain members of Congress, the press, etc. – have been relegated to back seats or removed entirely from the process. According to the report, the CIA’s covert operations branch is now larger than during the Soviet–Afghani conflict of the 1980s and empowered to take the following actions:
· The establishment of joint anti-terror units with friendly nations. (I presume this includes the sharing of information and assets.)
· The establishment of secret prisons in friendly nations where terrorists can be held and interrogated.
· The rendering of suspected terrorists from local custody and into the black system, including transportation around the world.
· The killing of those known to be a threat to US citizens, something that would previously have been considered assassination, and prohibited by Presidential Order 12333 [revised 1981]. (These have been recently conducted with the unmanned Predator drones, with considerable effect.)

The legal justification for this action is the congressional resolution passed Sept. 14, 2001, which authorizes the President to take "all necessary and appropriate force against those nations, organizations, or persons [the president] determines planned, authorized, committed, or aided the terrorist attacks."

The moral justification is pretty straightforward: Kill the other sonovabitch before he can kill you.

Now, the power granted to the President by congress is extreme and, frankly, a little scary. When terms like “all” are used, nothing is off the table; no quarter, no appeal, dart gun or nuke, it doesn’t matter. The only limits are generally what the President sets for himself, and this President doesn’t place many self-imposed limits.

And I’m glad. We are at war and my children and yours deserve to be free from fear. Despite what some raging assholes say, we didn’t bring this on ourselves. America isn’t perfect, but it damn well is the best country in the world, and the world is a much better place for it existing. Those who attack the United States, attack the best hope humanity has for the future.

Now, there is a potential downside to the actions being taken in our name and in our defense. Of course, these powers and actions could be used to remove the freedoms that we enjoy. I am always leery of strong groups telling me what I can and can’t do or invasions of my privacy. The government that governs least governs best.

However, is the risk of government domination really any greater now than it has been in the past? No, and here’s why.

The so-called “wiretapping” of communications has been conducted with and without the FISA court issuing warrants for years and this is not illegal (50 U.S.C. § 1802, see http://www.eff.org/Censorship/Terrorism_militias/fisa_faq.html from the Electronic Frontier Foundation, which does not take a positive view of FISA but admits that FISA does authorize surveillance without a court order). Every United States President has conducted this form of surveillance since Nixon and, if anything, the definition of privacy and constitutional rights have been expanded during the FISA tenure.

As far as the rendering of suspects to secret prisons, that power has been in effect for a very long time and does not apply to US citizens. Those who enter this system and are found to not be a threat are removed from the system, as in the case of Khaled el-Masri, a German citizen who was rendered and then removed from the system. There are many other cases where this has happened. For those who decry that fact that they were detained at all, note that we all live under the threat of false imprisonment for crimes committed by people with the same names, the same description, the same etc.

Lastly, as the saying goes “the proof of the pudding is under the crust.” These activities have been going on since 2001, roughly four years. There have been no appreciable degradations to the American civil liberties. Not once in the past four years has my life been interfered with (beyond a longer line at an airport). Not once have I been denied the right to read what I wanted to read, speak to whom I wanted to speak to, purchase what I wanted to purchase, voice an opinion, or believe what I wanted to believe.

In truth, the greatest threat to my first amendment rights is from my coworkers, who would respond negatively to this blog.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Poetry and Song

2005-12-29T22:34:00.000-07:00

All of Emily Dickinson's poems can be sung to the tune of The Yellow Rose of Texas.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Life

2005-12-29T22:32:00.000-07:00

Life is painful. Anyone who tells you differently is selling you something.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Opportunity

2005-12-23T11:04:00.000-07:00

A quote from General George S. Patton: "Never pass up the opportunity to take a piss."

The Symbols of Christmas

2005-12-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

Last night I had the great opportunity to be Santa to my church's cub scout pack meeting. I borrowed a great Santa Suit and, with my natural "bowl full of jelly", I fit the part well. We performed a great little skit, called The Sixth Word, which I am including below. I don't know where this came from; the cubmaster has used this in his family on Christmas Eve for a long time and he wanted to share it with the scouts. The number of props are in parenthesis.

***

Just a week before Christmas, I had a visitor. This is how it happened. I had just finished the household chores for the night, and was preparing to go to bed when I heard a noice in the front of the house. I opened the door of the front room, and to my surprise, Santa Clause (1) himself stepped out from behind the Christmas Tree (2). He placed his fingers over his mouth so I would not cry out.

"What are doing?" I started to ask, but the words choked up in my throat as I saw he had tears in his eyes. His usual jolly manner was gone - gone was the eager, boisterous soul we all know.

He then answered me with a simple statement, "Teach the children."

I was puzzed. What did he man? He anticipated my question and with one quick movement brought forth a minature toy bag (3) from behind the tree. As I stood there bewildered, Santa said again, "Teach the children. Teach them the old meaning of Christmas, the meanings that Christmas nowadays has forgotten."

I started to say "How can I?" when Santa reached into the bag and pulled out a brilliant, shiny star (4).

"Teach the children that the star was the heavenly sign of promise long ages ago. God promised a Savior for the world and the star was a sign of the fulfillment of that promise. The countless shining stars at night - one for each soul - now show the burning hope of all mankind."

Santa gently laid the star upon the fireplace mantle (5) and drew forth from the bag a glittering red Christmas tree ornament (6).

"Teach the children that red is the first color of Christmas. It was first used by the faithful to remind them of the bood which was shed for all the people by the Savior. Christ gave his life and shed his blood that we might have God's gift of salvation. Red is deep, rich, and vibrant. It is the greatest color of all. It is a symbol of the gift of God."

Santa placed the ornament on the tree and pointed to the branches.

"Teach the children that green is the second color of Christmas. The pure green of the stately fir tree remains all year round. This depicts the everlasting hope of mankind. Green is youthful, hopeful, and abundant. It is the color of nature. And look, the needles point upward, symbols to remind us to turn our thoughts heavenward. The great, green tree has been one of mankind's best friends. It has provided shelter, warmth, and beauty."

Santa reached into his bag and retrieved a small, tinkling bell (7).

"Teach the children that as the lost sheep are found by the sound of the bell, it's ringing reminds us to return to the fold. It means guidance and a safe homecoming. To hear the bell is to know that all are precious in the eyes of the Lord.

Santa placed the bell on the mantle and drew forth a candle (8) from the bag. Its tiny flame cast a glow about the darkened room.

"Teach the children that the candle shows man's thanks for the star of long ago. It's small light is a reflection of that starlight. In times past, candles were placed on the trees - they glowed like a blanket of stars against the velvet green. Colored lights are now used, but these are like the candle and call us to remember that wonderous night that Christ was born."

Santa picked up a gift (9) from under the tree. He pointed to the large bow.

"Teach the children that the bow is placed on presents to remind us of the spirit of brotherhood that exists between all peoples. The bow is tied as we all are tied, all of us together, with the bonds of goodwill toward each other. Goodwill forever is the message of the bow."

Santa slung his bag over his shoulder and reached to the tree for a candy can (10), placed high in the branches. He took it and handed it to me.

"Teach the children that the simple candy can represents the shepherd's crook. The crook on the staff helps bring back the strayed sheep to the flock. The candy cane reminds us of the helping hand we should show at Christmas time. It is a symbol that we are all our brother's keeper."

As Santa looked about the room, a feeling of satisfaction shone on his face. He reached to my mantle and pointed to the wreath (11) which hung there.

"Teach the children that the wreath symbolizes the eternal nature of love; it never ceases, ends, or stops. It is one continuous round of affection and compassion. The wreath is made of many things and many colors, and it reminds us of all the symbols and emblems of Christmas."

Santa prepared to go, but he stopped at the door and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Please teach the children these things I have said tonight. Teach them so that they can know and remember the true meaning of Christmas."

And with that, Santa vanished in the night and I was left with the gift of knowing the true meaning of Christmas.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Speech and Action

2005-12-22T15:42:00.000-07:00

When everything has been said and done, there’s usually been a helluva lot more said than done.

Blood on the Hands of Peaceniks

2005-12-21T15:57:00.000-07:00

I really dislike hippies. I don’t differentiate between the room-temperature-IQ, neohippes who cannot distinguish between fashion and common sense and the badly aging, starry-eyed, pretentious whiners who now struggle with erectile dysfunction and the knowledge that their “Age of Aquarius” has been relegated to an advertising theme. They are all equally guilty of being selfish assholes that hide behind the language of compassion but wouldn’t sacrifice a single double-mocha latte to save someone else’s freedom.

Hippies like to talk about the virtues of peace and love, and those who are old enough (and still possess the surviving neurons to allow it) remember the protest movement of the late 60s and early 70s with fondness. They like to believe they made a difference. They believe they stopped a war.

Here’s what they really did:
The “Worker’s Paradise” that hit Southeast Asia after1976 cost the lives of millions, mostly women and children. The “peace” that hippies and other assholes congratulate themselves for instilling was a murderous regime of re-education centers, death camps, starvation, torture, and murder.
* In Laos, chemical weapons used against Hmong tribes by the Pathet Lao regime killed tens of thousands. Those they couldn’t gas, they attacked and massacred.
* In Cambodia, the Kmer Rouge regime of Pol Pot set up an inside reorganization of the culture that resulted in the death of between 1/7 and 3/7 of the population (1 to 3 million).
* In Vietnam, those that couldn’t flee the coming communists were forced into hiding or sent to re-education camps. At least 1 million didn’t leave. Those that could were forced to survive in a county incapable of feeding itself, and many starved to death until the “Doi Moi” (Two Systems) program in the early 1990s allowed people to grow their own food.

For 18 months, I did full-time volunteer work with Asian refugees, mostly Cambodians, who had settled in the United States in Massachusetts. Not one of them ever complained about American involvement in their former countries. They thanked God, literally, for the day when they could flee the horror that had been allowed to happen because too many were unwilling to do what had to be done for their fellow human beings to be free and safe.

I see the same hippies who allowed this genocide in the name of “peace” leading protests against the war in Iraq. I hear the same chants, the same slack-jawed logic, the same disregard for freedom. “No blood for oil” is just a perverted way of saying “no sacrifice for others.” It makes me sick.

History doesn’t repeat itself, but those who fail to learn from their mistakes, repeat them, much to the sorrow of us all.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Speaking First

2005-12-21T15:52:00.000-07:00

In a debate, always let the moron talk first.

Corollary: If you have difficulty distinguishing who the moron is, it’s usually the one who talks first.

BrokeStudio Mountain

2005-12-17T12:36:00.000-07:00

The number of movie theater attendees has gone down in the last few years. A lot of this is due to home movie watching and the cost of theater tickets, but I think there's a simpler reason: many of the movies being made don't appeal to many people.

For example, Brokeback Mountain and Transamerica recieved a lot of Golden Globe awards, but have been seen by a handful of people. They are probably good movies, but I doubt if I'll see either, because movies about gay cowboys and transvestites don't appeal to me. They also don't appeal to most people.

However, I saw Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, and enjoyed both of them. I've even purchased the soundtracks. Based on box office returns, most people agree with me.

So, the lesson here is pretty simple: if movie studios want to get more people into theaters, they need to make more movies that appeal to more people. Niche movies have a place, and I don't think they should be eliminated just because they don't light my personal fire, but movie studios must understand that when they support these films, they do so knowing that they won't get the return on their dollar they would with more popular fare.

Dark Pearl of Wisdom: Machiavelli and History

2005-12-14T14:16:00.000-07:00

History doesn't teach us that the ends justify the means. However, the fact that history is often written by people who follow this maxim does suggest that its application isn't entirely without merit.

Sufficient for My Needs

2005-12-14T14:14:00.000-07:00

I recently received a small Christmas bonus from my work—a bunch of gift cards that can be used at a variety of restaurants, department stores, and supermarkets; even Home Depot. The amount wasn’t much, but for my wife and I, every little bit helps.

The problem is, I received the same last year and instead of using them for my family, I gave them to our church leader to help out with the poor and needy. Now, I have them again and I want to use them—a section of our fence blew down in the last big windstorm, etc.—but at the same time, I want to give them away again.

The situation got me thinking about what I have.

I’ve got a great life: I’m well fed (to the point of being fat), I’m healthy, and so are my kids and wife. We have a mortgage, but not an oppressively large one because we bought within our budget. And finally, I have joy; joy in my family and friends, joy in my work, joy in my God. In short, I have sufficient for my needs.

And truthfully, that is due to blessings from God. Sure, my wife and I work (she works her ass off), but we can do this because of the blessings from on high. I would be a truly ungrateful son if I failed to mention this.

As for the gift cards, I’ll probably give them away again this year. After all, I have sufficient for my needs.

Stereotypes Exist Because They Work

2005-12-13T13:39:00.000-07:00

Some people take offense at the use of stereotypes, even going so far as to protest against the profiling of an individual. They state that we are all individuals, with unique aspects, interests, talents, and skills.

They are wrong. Stereotypes exist because they work, and they work most of the time. They are useful to help us fill in what we don’t know about other people, but need to know to have a positive relationship with them. They are a mental composite of mathematical probabilities that work in our favor.

Here’s a grossly nonscientific exercise in stereotyping with me as the guinea pig:

I’m a mid-to-late thirties white male; balding; glasses; overweight.

Think of my stereotype.

Now, answer the following questions and then check the answers to see how well you did.

1. Have I seen all the Star Wars movies?
2. Have I seen all the Star Trek movies?
3. Do I drink a lot of beer?
4. Do I know how to use a computer?
5. Am I in the economic lower class, middle class, or upper class?
6. Do I know what the term “THAC0” is?

Now, here’s the answers:
1. Yes
2. Yes
3. No
4. Yes
5. Middle class
6. To Hit Armor Class @ 0 – it’s a D&D dork thing

I’m willing to bet that you guessed correctly on almost all of them, even if you don’t know me. Why? Because it’s my stereotype.

Does that mean that people should be prejudged and sentenced based on appearances on initial impressions? No. But in normal, everyday interactions, stereotypes are a useful tool that we all use effectively and to dismiss them is to lose that tool.

I Support Torture

2005-12-09T15:02:00.000-07:00

Lets get this out at the beginning: I support the abusive, inhuman, and cruel treatment of my fellow human beings. I support beatings, electrical shocks, any just about any other pain-centered practice designed to make people submissive and provide information. I recognize that torture is not a reliable way to get information and that you can make anyone say anything with the right painful stimulus.

I don’t care.

I’m for torture because it’s the right thing to do.

I’m for torture because we’re fighting an enemy that isn’t motivated by money, love of country, or even lebensraum (Hitler’s “living room). No, these murderous bastards are motivated by the love of death and have a craving to die in the name of a sick and twisted ideology that began as a religion and has become a cult. They wrap themselves in sacred words, but ultimately, they just want to murder as many people as possible because they know it is this shocking and horrible act that will bend people to their will.

I won’t bend. I won’t even budge. In fact, I’ll do them one better.

These Islamofascist bastards may love death and have visions of an orgy in a paradisiacal afterlife, but they’ve got to get through this life first. Sure, some may strap on explosives and blow themselves to bits to kill, but how hard is that really? The anticipation and stress would be tough, but the actual death? It’s over in an instant. No pain, just a momentary heat and force and by the time the nerve impulses get to your brain to tell you there’s pain, you’re scattered over a square block and don’t feel a thing. Dying for a cause isn’t that tough if you don’t have to suffer.

That’s why I support torture. Execution and death are the easy way out and it’s what they want. Instead, we should give them what they deserve: life in Hell. They should get a long-lasting, debilitating, fear-filled life that has no end except the one God grants them when they finally do pass into real Hell. No sudden moment of transition, no blaze of glory; just a drawn-out festival of physical, mental, and emotional torment. Now that’s scary—scary enough to make someone think twice about how much they really want to die, or, more importantly, how much they really want to kill.

Many well-intentioned people say doing this makes us what we fight, or even worse. They’re wrong. Torture, like all forms of punishment, is a matter of degree and application. We routinely put our own citizens who are guilty of non-life-threatening felonies in an environment where their freedoms are severely restricted and they are subject to behavior from their fellow inmates that could be worse than torture. We laugh off homosexual rape in prison with “don’t bend over for the soap” jokes and ignore beatings and worse as “shouldn’t have been there in the first place.”

Finally, we allow people to protect themselves by taking the lives of those who invade their homes. The legal standard for taking the life of an intruder is if the owner has fear for his life, safety, or the lives and safety of others. In some places this is more strict, and in others more lax, but that’s generally where it falls. This should equally apply to those who would come into our homes, businesses, and communities for the express purpose to take lives and to make us fear.

Make no mistake, we torture. And we should.

I deserve to be safe. So do you. So do my children. So do yours.

Do you want our safety to be compromised by forcing the authorities to stop when those people who want to kill us and our children say they've had enough?

That’s why I support torture.

I'm laughing through my tears

2005-12-09T14:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, sometimes it's just so ironic that it's funny. Case in point: a group of antiwar-antiamerican-proasshole peaceniks in Iraq are kidnapped by Islamofascist militants and held hostage. Who gets blamed? The raging bastard with the AK-47s pointed at the heads of the hostages?

Oh, no. America and Britain are at fault.

It's just as if they were in Europe in 1944 protesting the invasion at Normandy and protecting German soldiers and then blaming the Allies if the Nazis arrest them.

I am normally against beheading, but in this case, I don't know if it would actually cause any harm.

I hear you loud and clear

2005-12-09T14:50:00.000-07:00

Well, this is my first entry and will likely be the only one for a while. Still, I think its about time that I put something on the Web.

My wife's name is Lynne. She's my age, 36, and I have two kids, Vanessa (8) and Caleb (2). I live in Littleton, Colorado, which lately has just begun to get the cold of winter. I do love Colorado winters, with occasional bursts of cold, followed by warm and sunny days. Having grown up in the northern climes of Utah, I can say this is much better; the -30 days are fewer and +50 days are more.

As of right now, I have several projects that I'm working on. These include

Mountain Alive, a YA novel about three teens living in the shadow of Mt. Rainier when it erupts. I'm about 2/3 of the way done with the first draft and Colin, my friend and boss, wants to see a completed first draft by New Years Day. Gonna have to work on that.
Prodigal, a D20 Modern horror adventure for 12 to Midnight, a PDF publisher and generally a swell bunch of guys. I've completed the second draft, and now I need to get feedback from playtesters.
Modern Dispatch: Infiltrators, a D20 modern peice. This is still in the draft stage, but its a short piece (about 5,000 words) about types of monsters that infiltrate human society and live among us and use us for food, procreation, and just plain villany.
Darkurthe Legends: the rewrite, a fantasy role-playing game I was involved with about 10 years ago that has been resurrected. I've written the skills and now need to complete the Feats/Characteristics.
Chiang Shih & Present Remnants, two D20 Modern horror adventures that are to go with Prodigal. Present Remnants is about 2/3 way through the first draft and Chiang-Shih is still in the formative stages. Gonna have to work on those, too.